After a bizarre
little hiatus
In fact, aside, why
do American shows do this? Why? I mean I can get skipping an episode because
there’s a holiday or something. But several weeks? Several? Why do you do this
Americans? Whyyyy?
Anyway so after
digging through various letters Macy, Maggie and Mel know the big secret of
Macy’s past
So, it turns out
Marisol and her husband were distraught by their dead baby daughter Macy so
Marisol does the sensible thing and summons a necromancer from Tartarus - see
this why she had the scythe to open Tartarus which no-one questioned. Marisol
offers the freed necromancer anything in exchange for her baby coming back to
life. I know I know, desperate mother and all but I lose all respect for a witch
who makes bad open ended bargains like that - because really?
So after much very
ominous black magic and hubby being kind of nervous, Macy is resurrected but
there’s a price! The price is they can be together for 2 years after which if
Marisol sees Macy, Macy will die, like Cinderella without the spinning wheels
Which… ok? I mean hey
as far as sacrifices go it’s sad but the baby came back to life. I think you
got off pretty easy. And also, this kind of addresses multiple episodes of
angst over why Marisol never contacted Macey in a wonderful way. Hey she
couldn’t or you died but she loved you so much! ANGST OVER
Angst over?
Why is this angst not
over?
So Macy is now super
unhappy because she’s DEAD and now ALIVE which makes her UNNATURAL and AGAINST
SCIENCE.
Y’know, like
telekinesis, teleportation, stopping time, reading minds and everything else
you’ve been doing. The UNNATURAL AGAINST SCIEnCE train left the station several
episodes ago Macy. She’s super sad so no-one can comfort her but Henry shows up
to empathise because he’s also like totally dead and brought back to life.
UNNATURAL AGAINST SCIENCE TWINS and it would be super hilarious if he was
really offended by what she said but he’s not his all; understanding and says
he understands that now you feel out of place and lacking a purpose - but how
answers help
I call shenanigans.
We’re milking this angst
Anyway - back to Macy
in a moment since she’s the main plot line. Lucy, who is kind of awesome,
invites Maggie to a Traffic Light party. Which is kind of a party where you
have to colour-code your sexual availability? I dunno, it sounds like a much
more boring Hanky Code for straight people. Maggie is upset because of Parker
to which Lucy awesomely points out that this is not how you get over someone.
Anyway, this party where no-one is allowed to look good in black will be
relevant later.
Over to Mel and she’s
now meeting up with Nikko to find out why she became a PI (because she feels
something missing in her life). Despite warnings Mel is definitely pining for
her and they even have a coffee not!date with lots of deja vu. Which is super
nice and sweet and I really hope we’re heading that way - oh, no, we’re not
because by the end of the episode she decides not to because, well we already
know why, we covered this. And this just after she kissed Jadia: is this going
to be how we do this? Mel gets close to a woman so we swoop in with love
interest #2 until they get close and then love interest #1 swoops back in?
Also when shenanigans
go down Harry tries to teleport Mel to the rest of them and they end up in
Manchester. And to the credit of Charmed they make the wise choice of
showing as little of this city as possible rather than exposing how little they
know about England (but hey, we already have to believe that Harry, with that
accent, is a Mancunian. I guess amnesia covers a lot). We had one weird siren
and one dodgy accent alone. Anyway Harry points out to be a whitelighter he has
to be 100% dedicated to his charges and his conflicting emotions now means his
power is on the fritz which is why he has to quit. Mel instead offers to help
him find his son so they can resolve this plot line and move on
Because they don’t
have passports, money or magic to get them back to the US.
This would be more
interesting if it were actually a plot line rather than a some convenient deja
vu leading to the right church, the church records identifying his son’s name
and… somehow that translating to his current address. I suppose they could have
found a phone book… I guess. Honestly I’ve not even seen a phone book in 10
years. Do we still have phone books?
Anyway they saw an
old man so everything is resolved. Yay.
Back to Macy. She
wants lots of answers so decides to do some dubious dark magic and sacrifice a
rat to summon the necromancer who raised her. It looks scary but ends up
summoning Knansie with a K
Ok, she’s a
necromancer but insists she’s a super nice woman who is just misunderstood -
she claims the elders hate necromancers unreasonably and spread lots and lots
and lots of lies about them. And when powerful people spread lies everyone
believes them
Which is plausible -
and definitely something we’ve seen before in the real world and like many of
the social justice messages of Charmed would really work if it wasn’t
sabotaged at the end. Again, the writers seem to kind of get the issues they
invoke but… not really
So Knansie with a K
(who hasn’t aged which she claims is a necromancer thing) is being hunted by a
witch who, she says, wanted her to resurrect her demonic boyfriend. She refuses
to report this to the elders because of the whole anti-necromancer prejudice.
Instead, when the witch shows up throwing burning balls of death they have to
subdue her
At this point Knansie
with a K also points out to Macy the many ways she can kill with telekinesis,
like stopping someone’s heart. This is kind of a big message as to why she’s
actually evil but honestly heart stopping vs throwing something heavy and/or
sharp at someone is dead either way. And the heart thing has way less clean up
Witch woman decides
not to confront them and instead raid Maggie’s colour code party to kidnap her
and hold her hostage in a shower filled with magically held water to drown her
if they don’t let her kill Knansie. Knansie insists that Macy save her sister
by killing the witch trying to murder her
And this is… a bad
thing? I mean, Maggie is literally drowning here. Anyway Macy makes the other
witch give up but nearly goes full murder but Maggie and a convenient Parker
talk her out of it and how to control the big dark evil inside
Knansie makes a run
for it but tries to kill Parker while doing so. Oh hey, twist - turns out
Knansie made a demonic pact to let her raise the dead using demon blood (which
turns all the dead into demons) But is also has a clause that says she can’t
attack demons. Parker is a half demon, totally counts and she’s all dead or
hellbound or both.
See, playing the
whole “people in power spread lies to demonise the vulnerable which everyone
believes because of said power” would work better if the vulnerable weren’t,
y’know, actually evil.
Honestly I want to
know why Knansie with a K is evil for suggesting telekinesis heart stoppage but
there’s no consequences for Sid “I’m-going-to-murder-a-charmed-one”? That’s
fine? Ok we’ll go with that
In the aftermath they
let the murder witch go and Macy seems surprisingly super ok with considering
her angst levels about anti-science earlier. And she has a plan - she
approaches Parker’s mother, her boss, and wants to help her research how to
de-demonise Parker. So long as she gets de-demoned first
And Maggie doesn’t
totally hate Parker. So that romance is back on
And Parker’s evil dad
seems to be bewitching Lucy to try and get Parker and Maggie back together. I’m
sure there’s an evil scheme behind this but I can’t get past the dad trying to
get his son in a relationship
