iZombie, Season 4, Episode 4: Brainless in Seattle Part 2

Liv and Clive are still hunting down the coyote who is smuggling people into the city and killing people, which involves tasteless jokes about skulls, of course and figuring out exactly how he gets in touch with his victims. Ravi has found a website he uses to connect to rich, desperate people looking to get in and out of Seattle

They also find Liv’s missed connection post trying to find the elusive Tim - Ravi and Clive are duly mocking of her eternal desperation and this very annoying desperate romantic brain.

Ravi sets up a fake account as a rich Englishman stuck in Seattle desperate to leave, complete with over the top accent (which Clive apparently can’t differentiate from Ravi’s actual accent).

Liv also checks in on Renegade to see how the best way to lure in the coyotes are - and she doesn’t tell them anything new (desperate and rich). But it is a good chance to get her story. She was turned into a zombie before Fillmore Graves, she doesn’t know how. But a man helped her with her brain needs, though the visions made it clear he was killing homeless kids

Which sounds a lot like Blaine’s old operation

She went to the police, who naturally did nothing since they didn’t believe in zombies - and in retaliation the bad guy (Blaine I presume) killed her husband. She shut down and went quiet - which led to more guilt when Fillmore Graves and the mass infection happened. She did see Liv though, working, trying to make a difference, trying to be useful - which is what she’s trying to do

Which is all the more poignant when we catch up with Blaine. He is trying to get Renegade’s location from the Brain which also comes with an unfortunate and rather hilarious loose lips effect - which has Blaine being radically honest with everyone: employees, customers, pretty much everyone. Of course, he’s such an awful person no-one believes the terrible things he’s saying

But he does get a vision leading him to Renegade (after realising there’s more than one Laundromat in the city since he’s rich and never had to deal with them before). His goons capture her and deliver her to Chase Graves…

In Defence of Reboots

Nerdy nostalgia and a quick and easy way to produce a new show or film means reboots are becoming an increasing go to for media producers. After all, you already have a proven recipe for success and a presumed established fanbase that will already flock to the new creation. Win, win, right?

Well, let’s just say not every fan is quick to rush to praising a reboot - and there have been definitely poorly executed ones as well. But I think there’s also an almost reflexive resistance; that same nostalgia that can make reboots so attractive can also make devoted fans demand a level of purity which a reboot both can’t achieve - but shouldn’t. It’s similar to the same purists who turn out every time a book is turned into a film - just look a the Lord of the Rings fans who demand everything - including the endless, songs and Tom Bombadil added to the Lord of the Rings Movies. This should be proof that a dedicated purist is willing to suffer for their faithful adaptation

I am actually a fan of reboots. As a lover of long series - both in terms of books and television series. But eventually everything reaches an end - and we’ve all seen series that should have ended so very very long ago. A reboot gives the opportunity to explore this world and characters but without quite so much of the baggage that any long running series is dragged down; it gives these concepts chance to return, chance to be updated and chance to explored in new directions - after all, every storyline taken inevitably cuts off other possibilities. A reboot allows the exploration of the path not taken.

It can also be used directly to revitalise a long running series: like we just saw on Once Upon a Time trying to revitalise the series (albeit unsuccessfully), recognising when these characters’ storylines and this particular meta is done and it’s time to see what else can be done with this world.

But it has to be done well… and people have to approach them correctly.

Reboots are not Sequels

Or, aren’t usually. Sometimes they follow on from the original series, like the various Star Trek reboots (and I know there are people even now rushing to tell me that Star Treks are not reboots - but they rather clearly are. Taking the same world, the same concepts, even if not (necessarily) the same characters and building something new. The foundations are the same, the concepts are the same but the characters and plot is rebooted - and even if they take place in the same world there is enough time and space between each production of the franchise to make them decidedly separate entities. They’re not sequels - which seems to disappoint fans.

Whenever a reboot is proposed one of the regular complaints I see is fans of the original wanting a continuation of that. Look at the drama around the Charmed reboot, many people are upset because the new Charmed witches are not the Halliwell sisters and not continuing their story. And no matter what was produced, ultimately the fact they’re not those original sisters means fans rebel. We’ll see something similar with Buffy - they don’t need a reboot, they want the old story to continue. But I ask you to take off the rose coloured glasses of nostalgia and ask… really? Because, well, really? Do you remember late season Charmed and Buffy? These weren’t Firefly, cancelled before their time 

(never forgive, never forget)

No, these shows ran on and on and on and on and ended because WE STOPPED WATCHING THEM. If the ratings were still high, if the producers were still coining it in, if we were truly that excited about seeing their stories continue, then they’d still be on air until the sun explodes

It's the show that never ends, it goes on and on my friend

But they’re not. They were cancelled; clearly these original stories weren’t doing it for us. But maybe new stories in the same world could bring you the same joy that that nostalgia clings to without the crushing disappointment that an actual continuation of those storylines we apparently long since lost interest in could bring.

Which also brings me to another way reboots can go very wrong:

Don’t be shackled by the old

You’re making something new with this world/concept/characters - right. Do it. Make something new; because if you’re clinging too much to the old? Well, as I said, there’s a reason we stopped watching. A reboot shouldn’t look like a bad copy - it needs to be a fresh start; go big or go home. And this is one of the main issues that Once Upon a Time’s reboot had: we got a new story working on the same concept, new characters - Adult Henry, Jacinda, Lucy, Tiana, Alice, Victoria, Drizilla, Gothel with which to tell this story… and then you had to drop Regina, Rumple, Killian and Zelena in there

I love these characters, of course I do, they’re fan favourites. But this is a reboot and I’m supposed to be investing in Henry, Jacinda et al but they can’t possibly compete with the more compelling, more established characters. These new characters never had a chance to establish themselves or attract a following because the scene was stolen by these old favourites. The show wasn’t brave enough to do a true reboot; followed the fan favourites around while still maintaining the fiction that Henry and Jacinda are the protagonists.

This applies to the audience as well - as fans we need to approach these shows without all the expectations and demands of the previous incarnations of the show. Just as you can’t what Next Generation while also pouting that there’s no Spock and Kirk. No we’re not going to get the old Buffy or the Halliwell sisters and maybe no Willow can match Allison Hannigan for you - but the reboot is not the old show; and out memories of these old shows are fraught with our rose tinted nostalgia glasses. Especially when we talk repeatedly (as fandom often does) about how much these shows meant to us, how important they were, even how revolutionary they were: that is a bar nothing can compete with and we’re going to lose shows that could be as awesome - or revolutionary to someone else - because we refuse to accept this concept can be reworked unless it matches our skewed memories of the original show

And on being revolutionary...

Updates are Necessary

This is especially true of shows where one of their major selling points was how original and progressive they were. Being the first is important and, again, nostalgia makes us look back on a lot of shows with happy rose coloured glasses. But being the first ages really quickly- and just like a lot of millennials binge watching Friends have discovered, old beloved shows can come with a whole lot of really nasty, bigoted baggage with an overwhelming amount of homophobia.

We’ve all read the many many many pieces on how limited Joss Whedon’s feminism is and, looking back, there are definitely issues with Willow and the show’s pretty much non-existant racial inclusion.

And I can perfectly understand why Holly Marie Combes takes issue with the Charmed reboot being described as “feminist” Charmed implying that the old Charmed wasn’t. And clearly we had a story with 3-4 powerful sisters whose sister relationship defined them and was the overwhelming powerful theme of the show, of course that was central. But those sisters also spent an awful lot of time focusing on the men in their lives (my gods how sick was everyone of the Cole storylines or Phoebe desperate to get pregnant storyline by the end?), the show had pretty much one token POC who was there for utility more than characterisation and, despite being set in San Francisco, covering 8 seasons, 178 episodes and innumerable characters, still managed only one dead lesbian for LGBTQ inclusion.

This isn’t say these old shows are terrible - but just like the original Star Trek was hailed for it’s progressive nature in the 1960s but looked through a modern lens has several…. Rather glaring problems, so to do many of these revolutionary shows we remember with nostalgia. Rebooting can make take these concepts we fell in love with, bring them back for a new audience - and not just a younger audience but also a more diverse audience. I can’t think of many of my peers who didn’t watch Friends - but those who didn’t (myself included) were LGBTQ people who were just TIRED of the homophobic nonsense (and no, this wasn’t just young millennial outrage, there were plenty of LGBTQ people back in the day who were unimpressed as well - but no-one listened to us). What was revolutionary, personally defining and vitally important to you deserves a chance to be important to others - even tro be accessible to others who were previously driven away. You loved this show and it was defining? Well let’s have the chance to remake it so it is as defining and powerful and meaningful to others.

Shadowhunters, Season 3, Episode 1: On Infernal Ground

It is time for the fourth season of Shadowhunters. And it has done very well, it has garnered a large audience, it has a large number of fans, it has a budget. It can definitely afford to put some of the main characters through acting classes.

Last season Clary decided to use her angelic wish so she could continue her quasi incestual relationship with Jace and at the same time a big scary demon woman, Lilith, came back to save her evil demon son, Clary’s actual brother (who also wants to do incest with Clary because this is the Mortal Instruments and we have a theme), and guy who can act, Sebastian. Magnus decided that the 5 minutes of screen time he and Alec have together mean it’s perfectly ok to fuck over his people and continue to be a good little servant to the Downworld, while Luke runs his pack in his own attempt to be a good servant and do fuck all for his actual people; Maia joins him in being the second in command of not actually doing fuck all for their actual people. His partner on the police force has also found out about the monsters out there. Meanwhile the fairy queen is out of her ever loving mind and allying with Magic Nazi Valentine because if at least some of the Downworld weren’t dubiously evil to a ridiculous degree, Luke and Magnus’s subservience would be even more nauseating. Simon is her guest because of that whole daylight walking vampire thing. Izzy and Raphael are… just… there. Doing stuff. And by stuff I mean moping, not to be confused with anything actually meaningful.

And every experienced adult Shadowhunter who has ever lived have all checked out to, I dunno, play bingo or something, and are quite content to let these over-dramatic teens and early 20s run everything.

Lo, we have summed up the last season.

And we open with Lillith - who is either covered in tar or this season is going all in in really really bad blackface. I would say the former is the obvious choice but, y’know, Shadowhunters. She wants to wake up her dead evil son so he can return her naked tar embrace. I say again, incest is a thing on this show

It’s Clary’s big special day where everyone gathers around and says how special she is. Which is basically every day, but in this case she’s being officially honoured as a full Shadowhunter and no longer in  training despite the complete hot minute she’s actually spent doing that training. This is a day to rejoice apparently, with side issues with Alec who is kind of pissy that Jace died and both Jace and Clary are lying about it. They’re lying because that wish she used to resurrect Jace? That’s the only wish that nagel will grant. Could have used it for world peace. Could have used it to end world hunger. Could have used it for infinite clean power. Could have used it to forever ban pineapple on pizza. But nah, she resurrected Jace

She’d do it again in what would be a romantic moment except acting lessons are not in the budget alas.

What we do have instead are more convoluted unnecessary angst. So despite both dreams and the reality of them both rolling around half naked, Jace keeps having dreams about him murdering Clary because of his evil brother/3rd spoke of the incest love triangle. Because we need more angst

Clary also goes to Izzy, the new weapons master - seriously are there no Shadowhunters over the age of 30? She goes to pick her preferred weapon which is some kind of mystic ritual. She picks two long knives. And later learns from Luke that one is Valentine’s and the other Jocelyn’s because she has epic light and darkness in her. Or she’s just good with long knives

Can you imagine life as Clary? She had corn flakes this morning, with almond milk. Jocelyn liked cornflakes and lo there is light in her; but Valentine had almond milk. This is a momentous sign.

Magnus and Alec reunite, saying hello across a large room because this is the affection they show. Magnus has lost his job as High Warlock on account of not actually giving a shit about his people and constantly siding with the shadowhunters. He pretends not to care, being far happier selling stuff.

Hell's Detective by Michael Logan

Kat was a private detective when she was alive. It was a dirty job, but she did it well - until one night it all went wrong

And it’s a night she relives over and over again in Lost Angeles - a cute name for hell. A place where she can never forget that terrible moment when everything went wrong

But also a place, for all its chaos and violence, where her skills are still in high demand. Even the secretive administrators of this hell want to recruit her - and offer some respite which is the most anyone can want from hell… but the stakes are high and who can she trust? In hell, can she trust anyone?

This review is hard to write - because some of the things I love the most is the world building and the twists connected to this world building. We have a lot of debate about the nature of hell, a lot of questions and a lot of debate as to which of the various factions are telling the truth, who is who, what powers they have and who can be trusted among the dross and doublecross.

And I can’t talk about any of it without including massive spoilers!!!! But it’s so excellent - the twists, the debates, how Kat tries to navigate through this despite the huge stakes involved. She has to choose who to trust with so much on the line - and those stakes even eclipse her own personal advantage

The way Hell works is fascinating - Lost Angeles, a city where you can’t leave, where you can’t die. A city with resources enough to continue indulging all the sins that got you there in the first place - but a city without rules, a city without any reassurances or security. And a city where, every night, everyone relives their worst sin, that which torments them with guild the most.

And a city where people eventually disappear.

It’s an interesting concept of hell in and of itself, this Lost Angeles. But as you learn more about it as Kat investigates we get more and more answers and more and more twists that really elevates Hell above what we see in the surface - as well as the nature of demons, god etc  - and I can’t talk about any of it without spoiling this excellent book!

iZombie, Season 4, Episode 3: Brainless in Seattle Part 1

We’re introduced to another awfulness in the world of New Seattle - people trying to be smuggled into the city for various reasons. Coyotes are there to help - but the people who do this are ruthless. It’s also very dangerous - the American military surrounding the city is shooting people on sight - I presume people leaving as I can’t imagine the excuse to shoot those trying to get in

We have Annie, a young woman trying to get into Seattle to meet the man she loves… she has paid a large amount of money to get into the city for bribes and fees

And she’s this week’s crime victim. She’s found shot, her head smashed open and most of her brain taken. This is not the kind of crime anyone wants to hit the news

Also I like Ravi and Liv making tasteless jokes over the corpse but being so very disapproving over Clive accidentally saying the wrong thing. Because I miss them tormenting him. It’s also fun to see Clive openly expressing his frustration at Liv’s brain nonsense but putting up with it for visions. Their dynamic is always fun.

So what is the brain? The brain is “hopeless romantic” as you’d expect from a woman who moved across the country to a walled zombie city to hunt down an internet romance. And it may be the most annoying brain there has ever ever been. Liv on this brain is hopelessly in love with anyone who passes her by - she fixates on Allan, the distraught, equally romantic boyfriend of Annie who is devastated. And more than a little freaked out at Liv’s not-so-subtle focus on her. They are both truly nauseating, already planning weddings, children etc etc. Clive takes the box of brain chocolates off her.

Also it’s Sam Huntington which means I can’t help but seem him as a werewolf.

Clive also reminds Liv he’s a suspect so totally not an appropriate date. Instead what they need is a coyote - and Liv realises the best person to speak to is Leone - Renegade.

And she’s not the only one interested in Renegade. While Chase Graves isn’t overly interested in Major reporting his issues with the whole zombie scratch last episode (they’re now being sued) but does demand that Major get the video back. Which isn’t easy

iZombie, Season 4, Episode 2: Blue Bloody

This episode’s murder is a rich lady who is the worst ever, killed by a golf ball launched from a golf ball gun. Honestly absolutely no-one mourns this worst woman ever

Of course Liv eats her brains and becomes equally terrible, constantly insulting people and treating everyone like servants, especially Clive. The good side is Clive resolutely refuses to be treated that way - and underscores the racial implications of her behaviour. He also snarks her excellently.

The investigation has several servants all declare the dead woman to be a truly nice lady with no enemies. Clive has been with Liv on this woman’s brain for a hot minute and knows this is a terrible, awful lie and anyone who met her would clearly want her dead. Especially when they discard her gems as a motive.

A surprise comes when they find this very very terrible woman actually left $1,000,000 each to her servants and many of them have major motives to want that money. One of which is her chef - whose son is dying from a heart disease. He needs an operation, one he can’t get in the zombie city of New Seattle. She needs the money to bribe a coyote to smuggle him out of the city - and agrees to confess to the murder if they’ll get her son out

But that means going to a part of the city on lockdown (due to anti-zombie terrorists) and smuggling someone out of the city. Something Clive, a cop, can’t agree to - and Liv on terrible brains has zero inclination to do.

It wasn’t the most insightful brain to eat but it was definitely amusing.

Major is having his own dilemma struggles - he’s taking Captain Seattle (who needs an actual name) out on the street with guns and no training because Chase Graves, despite being a soldier, thinks this is a good idea. Showing either a) he is a fool or b) he is absolutely desperate. Major reminds them just how important it is to keep their helmet on since, beyond brain damage, zombies are pretty much immortal

Their first encounter is a group of people harassing a zombie business: Major tries to calm everything down and does a very good job (though I don’t see how it will stick after Major leaves) but Jordan is provoked by the humans and one of them grabs her helmet. After underscoring how important that is so we know why she freaks out she chases him down and attacks him - and goes full on Zombie

Major stops her, and they manage to stop one of his friends killing him as he begs them to when he screams that he’s been scratched. But all of this is recorded on a phone and is going to be really really really bad PR. This is going to be a trainwreck.

Lucifer, Season 3, Episode 18: The Last Heartbreak

This episode has a lot of flashbacks of Pierce back in 1958 where he was also a detective and…

Hey this is a really bad way to be low key. I mean I thought he tried to hide who he was, even this episode he makes the point that he moved around a lot. Coming back to the same city and the same profession (hey which may have elimination prints on file even) may not be the best bet

Back then he was investigating a serial killer - the broken hearts killer - who killed couples (where one party was cheating) in a particularly gruesome and heart squishing manner. He decides to do all his work in a bar because who cares about crime scene photos being seen by all and sundry with a bevy of women all coming on to him and him ignoring all of them

Except the bar tender who has him pegged exactly - how he wants company (so he works in a bar) but doesn’t think he deserves it so he sits alone and drives people off and how he never let’s people in.   

In the present we have a copycat killer - the broken hearts killer was found (possibly by Pierce - but the credit taken by Ray his partner) and died recently in prison - only now we have a string of similar murders

We also have Pierce and Chloe. They had an excellent time together at the concert and Ella makes a big point of the chemistry they have together in case we missed it.and so Lucifer can be super jealous of Pierce having a relationship with Chloe

Yes, this is Lucifer’s issue of the week with jhim continually being jealous and pouty about Pierce and Chloe. Especially when Pierce joins the investigation because he has so much insider knowledge about the crime which makes him a genuine asset.

Best thing? Chloe telling Lucifer they have no time for his issues when there’s a damn serial killer on the loose. Amen Chloe, no more Lucifer shenanigans when people are dying.

They follow some red herrings - the wife who was being cheated on (now in therapy and dealing with her… excessive reactions), a guy who fanpoodled the original murders and did tours (had insider knowledge but from a cop he was paying to get info for his tours). Pierce manages to find his old bar and the granddaughter of the old bar tender: and she has all the old notes of the previous case as well. Turns out the original murderer used a radio show to find cheating spouses.

Stargate Origins, Season 1, Episode 8, 9 10

So james and Catherine have clearly been happily busy since they wake up half naked in a tent in time for Asset’s arrival with her Nazi fanpoodles and professor Langford who continues to serve as nazi translator with no objections

The people all bow and scrape before Asset, their god, and for some bizarre reason Brucke the Nazi decides that he wants one of his Nazis to fight one of Asset’s soldier in hand to hand combat to the death to prove whether their minions will die for for their leaders. Which seems… bizarre. Unsurprisingly Asset’s warrior wins because a) he has a spear vs a knife and b) Asset’s arm is armed with medieval weaponry and therefore used to hand-to-hand combat more than the Nazis who are armed with guns.. I have absolutely no idea why he would think this was remotely a good idea.

When he sees his soldier about to die, he decides to shoot the warrior to save his soldier which really annoys Asset but she decides to let it go. And then he murders his Nazi soldier.

Eva is absolutely enraged that he dare kill a Nazi soldier and servant of of Hitler. She is not behind his god claims and is a loyal Nazi. So, y’know, evil either way. She keeps snarling at him from now on and has some pretty good put downs. He’s still promising Asset lots of slaves to convince her to keep allying with him.

Watching all this Catherine does her standard thing of wanting to charge in and get herself killed and James does his thing of stopping her, as he does. This dynamic is getting old.

Asset also makes a big speech about how she can give things to people and how she can take them away - and decides to break her healing stick she had given to the people. She has a tear in her eye while doing it so clearly she does care which is very un-Goa’uldy but there’s still not a lot of explanation of why she did this rather than have it used to heal her downed warrior? Serqet, the hotpants Goa’uld tries to handwave this but it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

What it does do is convince Kasuf and all his people that the Nazi has corrupted their god which I’m assuming is not her goal but who even knows.

Catherine speaks to Kasuf and shows him Stargate symbols so he can lead her to a place where various codes and co-ordinates for the Stargate are. She copies them down - then destroys them so the Nazis can’t use them. Of course when she returns to James and Wasif she realises Asset can just dial it up for them. On the way she tries to talk Kasuf out of his gods, that they’re enslaving him - but he insists they’re free and genuinely worship the gods. It’s hard to convince people they’re slaves when they don’t believe it? That’s the advantage of calling themselves god in the first place.

Waif and James plot how to get to the Stargate - and Wasif is very very very concerned about what the Nazis can do with all the naqueda and the Stargate, while Catherine and James are mainly concerned with each other (Wasif is finally frustrated by this).

Langford finally finds something resembling a spine and doesn’t translate Asset asking if they should kill Catherine et al. Eva continues to give Bruke shit and Bruke continues to be more and more of a megalomaniac. Langford also finally tells Asset that nazis are not nice people and Langford and the Nazi fight, Asset and Sequet just watch to let the humans fight their own battles

Asset also seems to have raided Lady Gaga’s wardrobe while Sequet is still rocking her hotpants.

The Magicians, Season 3, Episode 10: The Art of the Deal

Tensions are still high between Alice and Quentin - she is super angry that Quentin doesn’t trust her - especially since he trusts Kady (which comes with a swipe at Kady’s drug use); Quentin argues that he doesn’t know what Alice actually wants because she’s been so changeable

And Alice has an epic, awesome rant about how she is also a complex, emotionally hurting person like Quentin - and excuse her if she hasn’t been all focused and consistent after losing her father (to say nothing of rebuilding herself after the niffin-ness): this is especially on point because this kind of emotional collapse and self-loathing and ambivalence is something Quentin has had from the very beginning. Her rant here is a demand that Quentin allow her the same level of emotional complexity that he himself has. And it’s perfect.

Julia also has her reservations about Alice but, ultimately, Quentin points out they need her (probably emphasised by the musical unity key last episode). So he’s off questing - but Julia isn’t. She can’t leave the fairies yet

So she recruits Fenn who is learning the universal awesome language of emojis and still really pissed off at the fairies and not really eager to help. But as Julia asks - how does she feel about slavery?

This is another powerful moment on Magicians, you can hate someone, even have a very real genuine grudge against them, but still find the abuse they suffer to be unacceptable and not celebrate their inexcusable suffering

The problem is they still don’t know how to remove the collars from the fairies. They confront Irene and tell her all about the fairies and that they know they’re there - but craftily present the idea that they have a fairy problem and need help subduing them. Fenn’s hatred of fairies helps sell this. Irene thought they had the last of the fairies and is super excited at the thought of more. She introduces them to evil Uncle Edwin. And we know he’s evil, he’s played by Michael Hogan. He is always evil - always always a sinister older man. It’s a rule.

He has a collar for them but won’t tell them how it works - he does show off the fairy he’s owned since he was 16: a fairy that has been enslaved to the family for 400 years. He also says the way to remove the collars is with a machine they have,

Freeing the fairies isn’t easy since Skye can’t show her magic to the others and they don’t believe her when she describes her power. So Fenn has an idea - let’s show the fairies someone scarier

The fairy queen. Who reveals their history - fairies used to live on Earth but were hunted to extinction by human magicians (she never knew there were still fairies left on earth). Julia says she never knew and the fairy queen has the truly amazing, I’m-gonna-frame-it come back “short memory is the privilege of the oppressor”.

She’s worried about being lured to Earth but Fenn snarls about all the shit the fairies did to her and how obviously she wouldn’t be here by choice. Honestly I would take this as meaning she has a very good reason to lure her to Earth but the fairy queen finds this convincing. Especially when Fenn makes an awesome appeal as a mother on the part of the fairies. She even agrees to wear the collar so they can sneak in: reassured that Julia the God-touched can protect her. She also asks what julia gets out of all this, why help the fairies and Julia has an excellent speech about doing something good with her power.

With the fairy queen on display and the story of a whole town infested with fairies, they happily ingratiate themselves with the McCallisters - and the whole clan has gathered to talk business (which seems to involved a huge number of smushed up fairies). There the queen is put in a cage with the other fairies - and is duly horrified at the condition they’re in: she has an excellent speech about how fairies are the inspiration of the gods and is deeply upset to see fairies lower their head before them. Oh and she also promises a horrible death for the McAllisters once they have the collars off