After last episode
the sisters chase after the apparent lightning demon with the Scythe but she
has shields and teleportation and is juuuust a little out of their league. So
they stop and regroup and head back to the house
Which would make
sense if lightning woman didn’t have the power to open that evil prison cell -
which she does
I mean, regrouping is
sensible. Regrouping when your quarry is about to do something apocalyptic?
Slightly less so.
So back to the house
and calling the elders - Charity - to try and brainstorm what bad wrong naughty
things are happening. This will largely involve Mel and will be important. But
this being Charmed each sister has a storyline so let’s jump on those
first. And they are both free to go do their thing and live their lives
because, unlike ol Charmed the powers that be seem ok with them having
normal lives.
So - Maggie issue. Or
rather Maggie and Parker. Parker is the New Cole, only more angsty and dying
from his Humanness. We have this established with a scene with his evil dad,
Alistair McEvilName and his older full demon brother, Hunter. And while
Alistair is all pissy that he can’t make Maggie do his bidding, his evil demon
shapeshifting smoke brother is really supportive and protective of his baby
half-demon brother
Which is kind of
weird because he’s also worried that his baby brother is really falling for
Maggie which only humans do - this whole caring emotional thing isn’t demonic.
Except Hunter obviously cares about his brother and they don’t see the
contradiction of that.
Anyway apparently to
help Parker live he needs a serum made up of the Charmed One’s blood and he
needs it soon as he’s definitely getting worse. While trying to get Maggie a
job with his company in Chicago and then a fake drug test (using blood? Not
urine?) fails, just saying he’s dying and needs a plasma donation so of course
Maggie volunteers (it helps that he’s always thinking JUUUUST the right
thoughts when she touches him. Honestly, telepathy on these shows makes me
think my brain is even weirder than I know it to be - someone reading my mind
wouldn’t get useful coherent thoughts but coffee obsessions, random fantasies
and freaky non-sequiter questions about camels in Peru).
Not only does this
get him Maggie’s blood, but Mel donates at the same time so bonus. + 10 points
for Parker
Along the way Maggie
decides she doesn’t actually want to go to Chicago to work or as an intern over
the summer as she’d much rather spend the summer with her sisters since they
could all die at any time.
Which brings us to
Macy. She’s working away and her boss looks at this hardworking employee
putting in unpayed overtime and declares that she needs a better work life
balance! Go home you can totally be a workaholic later! Uh-huh. I’ll believe in
witches, magic and all kinds of demons but I’m not buying this boss being all
concerned her staff are working too hard.
Maggie agrees and
thinks Macy needs to date more and be more outgoing and fabulous (and also
touches Macy’s hair which Macy quickly tells her is a complete no-no and should
not be happening which is nicely addressed) in part to try and get her to sign
up for a dating app. Macy is reluctant, pointing out that because of sexual
racism, Black women and Asian men are the least likely to be swiped on dating
apps and it’s not worth her time… at least it’s not worth her time until Maggie
agrees to the do the dishes
She does plan on not
going on one of the dates but does end up accepting one anyway (with an Asian
man who talks about the same issues) unfortunately he’s a cicada monster. So,
monster of the week? Hibernating cicada monsters who sleep for a decade or so,
rise up, seduce mortals and lay eggs in them. This time round using the dating
app to seduce those victims. (Hey and one of these is a gay man. You can tell,
they’re the one couple that doesn’t kiss. Yes Charmed I see you. He
appears just to be attacked and killed/kidnapped, at least let him have the
kiss the straight victims had). Macy gets trapped, nearly died until everyone
comes to the rescue with magic and a big heavy thing being used to squish the
insect demon
Y’know it kind of
reduces the impressiveness of the power of three when you can just Squish
Things
Duly not infested by
insects, Macy decides to embrace what she wants rather than focusing on whether
people want her (which is an excellent line, especially looking at her issues
over who is seen as appealing and racial prejudices) and decides she wants
Galvin! Who is a bit down and depressed because Summer broke up with him and
now his funding’s being cut (but I definitely appreciate that even while
sympathetic with him, Macy is totally not accepting him speaking to her
disrespectfully). So she’s asking him to be back on a again which he agrees to
and, wow, Summer’s shadow is still on his door! He hasn’t changed the sheets
yet, Macy!
He’s in for this -
but then he gets hit by a car. Oops. Listen to the magical protective symbols!
So now to the real
plot - Mel. Mel opens with some frustration that Charity disapproves of her
using magic to help mortal problems - they fight demons, they don’t solve
perfectly human crime. And I think I’m meant to disagree with this but…
Charity’s not wrong? There are demons out there, apparently doing terrible
things and they can (bug squishing aside) only be stopped by magic. It makes
sense to prioritise here and let mundanes handle what they can so you can focus
on what they can’t. And, anyway, given Mel’s interests, passions and causes I
would have thought she’d be duly wary of magical, unregulated vigilantes
solving crime according to their own unchecked, unbalanced ideals guided mainly
by their super powers that put them at an extreme advantage over their
opponents: especially since criminality itself comes with a lot of shades of
grey, addiction and socio-economic drivers that “freezing time and kicking
arse” would not address.
Mel should think
about things like this. Mel should know better than to see human crime as
something as simple as “catch the bad guys”. If you’re going to create a
character who is all about social justice then MAKE HER ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE
and this means far more than chanting buzz words - it means recognising
systemic problems that disproportionately affect minorities.
So Mel is upset and
this is when the lightning woman finds her. She is Jada, half witch, half
whitelighter and she works for the Sarcana. Or the Sisters of Arcana.
Now, according to
Jada: these are young witch rogues who oppose the tyrannical hatred of the
Elders, want no rules, use magic openly and like to use magic to deal with
mortal problems. Oh and she is hunted because she’s an “abomination” child of a
forbidden relationship. She does have knowledge of the Book of Shadows which
suggests some contact with Marisol. And she has cracked open Tartarus to free a
powerful witch the elders locked up
While Charity and
Harry say the Sisters of Arcana are terrorists who, at best, use their magic
carelessly and recklessly and, at worst, use magic without caring who they
hurt. They’re also responsible for Harry’s lost charge and Charity’s little
sister Fiona dying.
Oh and Charity and
Henry are confirmed to have been a thing now
I think it’s going to
turn out the elders are evil or at least misguided and the Sarcana are good.
But I also think I’ll be frustrated because it will lack any kind of nuance or
depth and a general amount of cheering of unregulated vigilantism, lack of
oversight and a general assumption that “the protagonist is always good and
right” which is always cringe worthy.
Mel does agree to go
undercover for Charity… which is going to end with her changing sides. Except
she’s knocked out by one of them - because she nearly saw Fiona. Who is apparently
alive.