Jesse has been
delivered by the All Father with Starr pretending to change sides while
secretly on Jesse’s side. But still overwhelmingly in awe of the Allfather and
his fascist power that he can’t bring himself to actively fight him, even while
helping Jesse
Jesse does kill the
first wave of Grail minions, quite easily, in the lift before shooting the
Allfather. Who is, of course, too fat to be hurt by bullets. Because “fat” is
pretty much all the Allfather is
Jesse is captured and
strapped to a gurney so Genesis can be extracted. Starr puts a gun in his
pocket to shoot the Allfather in the head which sounds good… but he’s tied up.
Starr kind of needs to do more - but Starr continually bottles it. Jesse makes
an epic speech about faith and how he is sure God chose him to have Genesis,
that everyone else splatters and he has been tested over and over and proving
his worth.
The Allfather wants
to extract Genesis and put it into Humperdoo, the Christchild. Who
promptly explodes into a huge splatter of guts and blood and Genesis
returns to Jesse
Let me say again how
utterly awful the Allfather (fat man of fatness) and Humperdoo (disabled man
who doesn’t even get a name, watch him explode!) is.
Jesse is smug. But it
doesn’t do to underestimate the vast resources of the Grail: they are not
foolish; they’re an ancient powerful organisation of vast wealth and knowledge
and it would be a mistake to underestimate them. Though it’s understandable that
you would given we have Allfather and Humperdoo crushing this at every turn
with their ridiculousness. It can make it hard to understand that they are at
least All Powerful Adjacent
One of the Grail’s
clever scientists has an army of Christchild clones. Genesis, as the product of
an angel and a demon, is a mix of good and bad. So they just need to inject the
clone with a mix of genetics from two human to hit the perfect balance which
Jessee coincidentally has (can’t they just use Jesse’s DNA? If we’re going to
run with DNA = good or evil and can change things via injection).
Starr assumes this
won’t work - because he’s a misogynist and the scientist is a woman so he
doesn’t believe she could possibly succeed
And because his
misogyny is utterly wrong, he is wrong. And she does succeed with a genetic mix
of Wayne Brady and Thomas Jefferson: the Tom/Brady. Humperdoo manages to hold
and control genersis, is shot in the head and the Real Christchild is to be
brought in.
This cannot end well.
But this is a good challenge of misogyny - or any prejudice - you can have a
misogynist character but have his misogyny explicitly displayed as so
self-sabotagingly awful.
Meanwhile Hoover is hunting the vampires again - and not doing a great job of it. He’s quickly captured and the vampires try to ransom him to Starr for sanctuary for Cassidy
This is Starr
Starr does not care
about Hoover. Or much of anything. He repeatedly texts them to just kill Hoover
already, damn it.
This leaves the
vampires with a choice of what to do so they decide to kill Hoover and
crowdsource how to do it. They come up with bees (which is hilarious) until
Eccarius steps in. Don’t kill him - change him and recruit him
So they run with that
- after a brief discussion on sunlight and umbrellas - and lots of misses at
the neck, Cassidy turns Hoover. It’s time for Hoover to get his plane flight
with his murder plans
But Cassidy is
somewhat suspicious - because this is three people he’s turned and he has no
super powers like Eccarius. He goes looking and finds a bloodstained airplane
pillow (side point: I LOVE THESE THINGS) and realises something is up. And
catches Eccarius just about to murder Hoover.
Eccarius briefly
tries to talk his way out of it before knocking Cassidy out.
Damn… no… can we not
have this? Please I want it! I can ignore some murders. So many murders. He can
kill Arkansas, that’ll be fine. Please?
So Marie has sent
Jesse off with Starr and relying on Jody, Featherstone and Tulip to steal souls
in Osaka. She is now worried and having worrisome dreams about the fact she’s
old, dying and possibly going to die soon which is worrisome because all those
eaten souls may catch up with her
She makes a call. To Satan. He turns up in his rubber suited used-car awesomeness to remind her she made a deal to eat souls for longevity but when she dies she’s his. She acknowledges this but wants a new deal; Jesse and Genesis in exchange for Satan hunting down Tulip. He dispatches the Angel of Death (utterly disinterested and barely capable of recognising a human let alone a distinct one)
So to Osaka. And we
have the heist
This is Preacher,
do we have to say that this isn’t exactly the most positive or
none-cringeworthy portrayal of Japan?
This involves
Featherstone and Tulip loathing each other and snarking soooo much. Sooo much.
And it’s glorious. They do manage to infiltrate and steal the souls using a
faking sexual harassment seminar (those branch is notorious apparently), chewing
gum, computers and awesomeness and a fair amount of violence from Jody
By the end after both
showing their skills and capability… Tulip and Featherstone still hate each
other. Yup, none of that mutual; respect nonsense. These women loathe each other
down to their very very very bones. So when the Angel of Death stops Tulip on
the plane to take her to hell, she’s looking for “brown haired woman coming
from Osaka.” Tulip being duly smart, points to Featherstone who is… a brown
haired woman coming from Osaka
Tulip is fine with
this.
Except she realises
she’s picked up Featherstone’s briefcase by mistake… so now they have to go get
it back before it ends up in hell
Oopsie. While this
could be fun I also kind of think that it’s convoluted. We know Tulip is an
awesome thief. Losing track of the loot… doesn’t feel like Tulip.
The Angel of Death
drags Featherstone to a bus stop with the Saint of Killers, Eugene and Hitler
