I am officially Team
Demon. These people are far too stupid to live
Let’s start with
ground zero of humanity’s extinction by their own damn fool decisions - Clary.
Proof that humanity has not evolved nearly as much as we think
When we left our less
than intrepid definitely not-heroine she had just been imprisoned by the Clave
because she decided to stay and wave at them rather than run away. She then
went on trial and despite having the shiny woo-woo of being able to escape the sword
of truth and occasional genocide, she decided to tell the Clave everything
anyway. Namely that she used humanity’s one and only desperate wish that was
being reserved to save everyone from possible destruction to resurrect her very
annoying boyfriend which then left him vulnerable to possession and he’s now
running around aiding the Queen of Edom and probably bringing about said end of
the world.
Hey, everyone cool
with that?
The Clave is not cool
with this.
She is sentenced to
death and led out along with a lot of other people, cicle members, the warlock
Iris who wouldn’t do magic the Inquisitor demanded of her and possibly other
people. Actually I think they’re nearly all circle members. Seriously the Clave
has an issue that they have this many Circle members lurking around.
The Clave executes
people by burning them to death which is brutal, horrifying, barbaric and
repellent (but then, any death penalty is) and utterly savage and any other
time I’d condemn this ferociously. Except this is Clary...
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| I don't like marshmallows. |
To save herself,
Clary offers to use her ability to pull runes out of her arse to do the woo-woo
that Iris refuses to: resurrect Valentine
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| I refuse to believe this is an ancient organisation. No organisation this stupid could last that long |
Ok, here is the
Clave’s logic. Since Lillith has sent Jace to grab a chunk of Valentine’s
corpse, they’ve decided to burn his body and scatter it to the four winds so
there’s no chance of her ever doing that
Hah, no, that would
be sensible. No they’re going to resurrect Valentine and ask him if he knows
why people want to desecrate his corpse. So yeah, this is the plan they go
with. Clary’s rune works and Valentine explains that he doesn’t have a damn
clue, but he did use Lillith’s blood to inject into Jonathan while he was in
the womb because he’s evil that’s why. Clary and Valentine make the massive logical
leap that she’s trying to resurrect Jonathan
And then Valentine
escapes, rallies his circle members and starts slaughtering everyone. Lots and
lots and lots of slaughter. Because Clary’s rune also makes him indestructible.
Well fucking done,
Clary. She eventually remembers she can turn it off again after pretty much
everyone is dead. Valentine is now dead -and evil Jace shows up with
suspiciously plot-convenient timing to rip out a dead fascist’s rib and take
Clary captive. Yay, she’s captured again
Hey, one of our
oldest posts is on Spunky
Agency and how a
protagonist makes so many utterly ridiculous decisions we want them taken into
protective custody to stop themselves being a risk to themselves and others.
Clary EMBODIES THIS TROPE.
Time to join the rest
of the gang who are all worshipping at the altar of Clary’s stupidity and
trying to emulate her. But first let’s hit one of the best parts of the episode
- the werewolves telling Luke to go fuck himself!
And I wanted Luke to
be an awesome character. I wanted him to have the complex past of shadowhunter
and werewolf, balancing his pack responsibilities and being a detective mixed
with werewolf vs Clave tension. And what i got was a faithful servant to Clary
who didn’t give a shit about his pack, his job or anything else that wasn’t her
Clariness.
So when he goes to
his pack and says “hey guys, suicide mission to Idris to save Clary? Who’s with
me?” he gets a resounding “hell no.” He tries to invoke alphaness and one of
his wolves, rightly, points out that they’re supposed to be family. That’s what
pack means. Not that he gets an army of sacrificial soldiers to serve
Shadowhunters. They add that if he leaves them to chase after Clary then
they’re done with him
And he leaves. Which
really shows how much he cares about the werewolves here. He doesn’t even
rescue Clary because his fellow cops would like to talk to him about the
missing murderous partner and all.
Over to the next
collaborator - Magnus - who has found a way using lots and lots and lots of
power to save Jace. But he needs 12 warlocks so he’s going to have to ask
permission to do this. To which Lorenzo responds “yaaah pass thanks”. Warlocks,
children of demons, don’t especially want to make an enemy of Lillith despite
her incidental messing with the ley lines. Also lining up 12 warlocks in the
service of the Shadowhunters who continue to not give a shit about them? Hard
pass
Magnus and Alec treat
this as being terribad awful unfair because this show seems to have NO CONCEPT
of why the Downworlders don’t want to deal with the circle-loving fascist Clave
or what utter collaborators Magnus, Luke et al are. Alec decides to try and
bribe Lorenzo who responds by expressly forbidding any warlock from co-operating.
Well that worked.
This leaves Alec
forced to kill Jace
Or Magnus resorting
to self-sacrificing plan B: contacting his big bad father for the power. Guess
which they go for?
Now to a storyline
with more poignancy. Jace decides to get at Simon for… reasons - by freeing
Heidi from the Praetor Lupus and delivering her to Lillith who encourages her
to do terrible things in the name of girl power and solidarity and true love.
Lots of cringe here
Heidi goes to Simon’s
mother and sister and starts menacing them until Simon (who is even
angrier with Jordan for more fuck ups) rides to the rescue. Their Heidi
tries to go all out to destroy Simon though I’m dubious about how she intends
to win Simon over this one? She tells his sister and mother that Simon is a
vampire - and cuts Sarah, his sister, to tempt Simon
Who hasn’t eaten in some days. And, yet again this kind of shows the magical plot useful insight that this show continually forces on the villains to make their plot work. Because there’s no way Heidi could know Simon is starving because he’s forgotten to stock on blood for some time. I mean, had she not known this her plan would have collapsed as Simon is very unbothered by a small spot of blood
Instead he visibly
struggles to stay away from his sister and tries to keep her away. She touches
him and his control collapses - and he bites and feeds on his sister. Izzy and
Jordan show up to save her, but it’s too late - his mother has seen what he is
and seen him nearly kill Sarah and demands he leaves, calling him a monster
This whole scene is,
especially for Shadowhunters, powerful, emotional, well acted and deeply
sad to watch as Simon falls into self hatred and devastation at his mother’s
rejection.
Ok, one of my
perennial complaints about Shadowhunters is how servile and compromised
the leaders of the downworlder factions are. Luke, Magnus and Raphael, all
minorities, all utterly indifferent to their own people while serving
Shadowhunter masters who barely consider them people and are quick to dismiss
them. In a show which was more intelligent, this would be an interesting way to
explore the hollowness of respectability politics and how you can’t buy
personhood with service. But this is Shadowhunters and instead
rebellious werewolves, Lorenzo and even Raphael when he ceases to be a good
servant are all duly demonised as terribad awful for not being loyal followers
of her Claryness
So I appreciate Luke
given his marching orders and Lorenzo telling Magnus where to jump. We need some
push back against this nonsense
