Starting with the
magical past, Rumple is all sad over Belle and trying to talk to her using an
altar which is all full of hearts… and vodun. It’s no surprise when Facilier
shows up and decides to make a play for the dagger - using one of his voodoo
dolls
Needless to say that
doesn’t really work with the Dark One. And he gets a strangling in return. But
he manages to remind Rumple that going evil won’t help him reunite with Belle.
He claims to hear what Belle says since he hears the dead and is worried that
if Rumple doesn’t find the Guardian soon the darkness inside him will grow and
take over.
And he has a point
because Rumple’s hands are starting to turn gold again a good sign that he’s
going dark sidey. He has found a potential Guardian - Alice. But he needs to
test her to see if she’s good enough. Kind of how Gothel tested everyone to
destruction.
The problem is that
Killian has noticed Rumple watching Alice and is Not Happy because he’s always
had issued with the “crocodile” and Alice seems to be getting all cute and
happy with Robin. Rumple also can’t heal his heart because the curse on Killian
is black magic and needs blacker magic to fix
But despite the
warnings from Killian he uses this potential for a cure to manipulate Alice in
true Dark One fashion. She ignores all warnings if there’s a chance of a cure
and runs with the Dark One to Facilier - and rips out Facilier’s heart
following Rumple’s instruction (damn this heart ripping stuff is easy to learn)
and therefore, apparently, leaving Rumple’s own dark heart clean
I’m not even sure
that Once Upon a Time’s broken morality would accept that as true. We
see Ruimple’s hands become more and more gold and as they do his mannerisms
slip more and more to the Dark One, his voice, the gestures the language - it’s
really well done.
He tells Alice to
heal her dad of the curse he has to crush Facilier’s heart. But despite lots of
coaxing Alice refuses
And lo, we have a
Guardian test - which she passed. Rumple follows her - and his mannerism settle
back more normal.
He goes to the shrine
and Alice follows talking about how hard it must be to be separated from who he
loves and how happy she is to have found Robin and be free from all towers. And
she uses her Guardian-ness to take his dagger, it’s all really impressive with
lots of shining white light, the dagger has his name stripped from it and is
reduced to energy and Alice looks all shiny and amazing - but Rumple stops her
I thought for a
moment he did it for the power - but he says he did it for her. Because doing
this would make Alice immortal and, having just lost Belle, he knows how much
being immortal can hurt without the one you love. It’s another tower.
When next we see
Rumple he’s fully golden, complete Dark One - and Killian thanks him for saving
his daughter from being immortal. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
I’ve never bought this whole idea of immortality as a terrible curse. Because
of that I can’t help but feel there’s a power hungry motive to Rumple’s actions
here. Which is only more likely now he’s gone full dark one again
And in the present
Killian and Rumple discover that Hansel has died in their custody - and find
Facilier’s pin. Rumple panics and goes to check the evidence locker - his
dagger is also missing. Enraged and scared he runs out leaving poor Killian to
deal with the fallout
Of which there is
absolutely none. I mean a man dies in custody, just as the CCTV conveniently
goes down and there’s no worry about the fallout from this? Nick is a wealthy
white man, a lawyer for gods’ sake - don’t tell me that the shit wouldn’t rain
down in diarrhea like rivers!
Jacinda is all kind
of troubled that Nick, her ex and father of her child is a serial killer. Henry
almost comforts her but is more concerned with the weird things Nick says and
even says he’s not ready to talk about them yet to Jacinda. And I get it but at
the same time how can this not seem terrible to her? She’s worried about how
she misjudged the man she had a child with and Henry, a man who knew Nick for
about 2 days suddenly can’t talk about him? Huh
So Henry goes to
Killian and asks if he can have a tour of the crime scene of the man who died
suspiciously in police custody and of course Killian agrees because why not ?
There’s no accountability at all it seems. This gives Henry chance to steal the
medical results because why not remove evidence from a crime scene as well?
While there Killian
runs into Naveen looking for dirt to use against Facilier - he reasoned there
must be some reason why Facilier would kill Nick. He tells Killian he can’t
tell him anything because it’s all weird and Killian decides to accept the word
and let this man who broke into a crime scene go
Killian. You are the
worst, cop, ever. This is one shoddy curse, at least the previous cursed people
had the knowledge to back up their professions in the cursed life?
Actually maybe they
didn’t? Can you imagine? Mary Margaret the school teacher teaching people
medieval myths as fact? The hospital run by a group of people who think magic
and rudimentary herb lore is the very limit of their medicine? Hey did any of
them drive? Can anyone remember Storybrooke characters driving?
Mind you granny does
work a modern electric oven and a coffee maker.
Henry has his medical
record and goes to Jacinda to confirm it - according to the test which he
confirmed at the hospital, he is Lucy’s biological father. Jacinda is utterly
bemused by this, naturally. Honestly I’d be a little horrified as well because
without the woo-woo element there are rather few ways Jacinda can be pregnant
by a man she didn’t think she’d ever seen before and none of them are good.
While Rumple asks
Regina about Facilier particularly because he wants to steal the magic he gave
her to cure Henry. Regina snaps back no way is she giving that up and reminds
Rumple that Henry is actually his grandson!
Regina goes to
Facilier and asks him about the dagger - which he denies taking. But he doesn’t
deny killing Nick and is all “he was a serial killer, boohoo”. Reminding us in
case we didn’t know that Facilier isn’t a nice guy. But Regina believes him
Regina… I’m
increasingly not trusting your judgement here.
Rumple overhearing
doesn’t believe Facilier and holds him at gun point to threaten him. Which
doesn’t achieve much because, again, Facilier points out Rumple can’t kill
people and hope to be reunited with Belle
Personally I think
this moral code is dubious, if the only thing keeping you on the path of light
is the need to reunite with Belle then you’re not really on a good path. If you
need bribing to be good or threatening not to be bad then your morality is
pretty much non-existent. But it does make Rumple back off and allow Facilier
to use his magic to zap Rumple back into his car.
Which leaves a
frustrated Rumple with one more option to find his dagger - to steal Regina’s
cure-Henry magic to use a finding spell
While this has being
going on we have Alice/Tilly and Margot/Robin. In a role reversal Margot is the
jet set traveller now and Tilly is the woman who hasn’t travelled much. They’re
cute together, spend the day having fun with sweets, coffee and libraries and
it’s all excellent - until the voices in Tilly’s head get too much and she runs
To be found by Weaver
- because Tilly’s got his dagger in his backpack. She has no idea how it got
there but the voices stop the minute he removes it: Rumple realises the
Guardian is protecting his dagger
Whether that means
Tilly snuck in and stole it without knowing or that the dagger is magical
enough even in a land without magic to teleport to her bag, I’m not sure. But
it does mean Facilier is innocent - of this at least
But Rumple is not -
and Regina confronts him, utterly furious, for stealing the magic she was going
to use to heal Henry. That he put his need for the dagger over Henry is the
last straw for Regina - again and again he has betrayed her and she is through
Rumple used to be
more intelligent than this
I do like Alice and
Robin’s relationship, they are good together, it was well done and for a nice
slow burn relationship this
platonic-with-an-excellent-possibility-and-foundation-for-more would be
perfect. Except there are four episodes left of the final series of Once
Upon a Time: which would presumably also fill in Killian getting his heart
cured, the curse failing, Mother Gothel actually… actually… well, explaining
her presence, Henry being cured, Rumple being redeemed and back with Belle and
Facilier’s plotting brought to an end presumably in happy good love with Regina
That’s asking a lot
but I expect it - because this is Once Upon a Time a show all about
Disneyfied fairy tales and if there’s one rule it’s that there WILL be a
happily ever after. But that means fitting it all in.
