Let’s begin with a
particular likely enraging element that i will never ever ever ever be
forgiving this show for - Stamets and Culber.
Stamets is lost in
the Magic Mushroom network which quickly dumps the glowing acid trip for a much
easier set - the Discovery - in which he meets himself. This himself is, of
course, Terran Stamets who is evil because he’s Terran. Terran Stamets has been
stuck in the Magic Mushroom Network for some time and has been reaching out to
Federation Stamets and giving him visions of his world which explains some of
the moments F!Stamets has been having. It doesn’t explain why he was so loopy
though so I’m going to put that down to good ol’ brain damage.
Another problem is
the Magic Mushroom Network is dying and this is a terribad things, especially
since it’s infecting T!Stamets already. But F!Stamets is distracted by the
ghost of Culber
Which means he learns
that Culber is dead and rthey have another romantic scene when they were at
their best brushing their teeth in the… seriously guys? This oral hygiene
fetish needs to end. Yes, I get the show has done very very very little to
actually establish their relationship but there must be more than opera one of
them doesn’t like and tooth brushing.
They have a big
romantic moment I would be far happier about if it weren’t a goodbye
Hey, remember when
they did gaydeath and a not-insignificant part of the LGBTQ fans they’d been
marketing too said “what is this fuckery?!” and they hastily hit social media
saying “it’s not gaydeath! They will meet again! Their best scene is yet to
come! Their love is epic!”
I think this may be
that scene. I think this is it. I dearly hope I’m wrong (and even if I am
they’ve got a hell of a hole to dig out of) but this looks like it. Which
honestly makes me even more angry with them - because if they saw our anger and
deliberately deceived us with this? Then I am doubling down on my rage. I would
say “fix this” Star Trek but I don’t think you can
Stamets does wake up
but the mushroom network on the Discovery has been destroyed so the only way to
get home is for Michael to succeed in her task. Also I think F!Stamets and
T!Stamets may have swapped bodies?
Leaving this
terribleness, let’s move on to Saru
Saru is dealing with
Tyler who is completely melting down between Tyler and Loq and generally
falling apart and suffering immensely. Saru goes to L’Rell to ask her to help
him. She refuses because he’s a noble warrior who made an agonising choice and
she will honour that choice in the name of war because this is what war means,
weak Kelpian who has hidden super powers and can probably rip Klingons apart
limb from limb. She does explain how they mushed an actual captive Tyler’s DNA
onto the Klingon Voq hence the very detailed personality graft
This raises the
possibility that they can change him into Tyler permanently - not that she says
that but they have made it clear that Tyler’s fake personality isn’t just fake
- it is more transplanted. Ish. It’s a show that has mushroom based
teleportation so let’s not poke it too hard
Tyler continues to
suffer massively and Saru throws this in L’Rell’s face. Because this is war -
not honour, not glory, but completely pointless (since in the mirrorverse the
war is irrelevant) suffering. Saru has not time for this bullshit as both a
member of a non-violent species and a member of the Federation. He drops Tyler
in L’rell’s cell and makes her witness her beloved suffering. She breaks and
admits it can be reversed - but only by her
So Saru allows it -
and Tyler/Voq becomes pure Voq
I know there’s a lot
of eye rolling about this decision but I think this wasn’t necessarily Saru
trying to restore Tyler as it was to stop suffering. Because even if Voq is an
enemy, the Federation does not willfully cause suffering and does not allow
suffering which they can alleviate. This is what the Federation is - even if
that means saving Voq and losing Tyler.
Now to the main plot
with occasional eye rolls
Michael and Lorca are
heading to the palace spaceship to meet Emperor Georgiou to fake hand over
Lorca but also because the data they smuggled out last episode is redacted and
they need the original files. Along the way Michael injects Lorca with a pain
killer to help him dealing with constant agony.
Michael is obviously
having elven kinds of angst seeing the Captain she loved and was deeply loyal
to - and then betrayed - is now back from the dead and thoroughly evil.
In the palace Michael
is greeted as a long lost friend - and more - while Lorca is dumped in another
agony box.
Being treated like
family means the Emperor comments on how Michael used to call her mother. Yes,
family history time: the Emperor raised Michael from childhood in this
universe. And she even claims she loves Michael and is kind of upset that
Michael wasn’t all trusting with her - because, y’know, Terran and evi.
Oh on that evil?
Dinner is Kelpian. Yes, Saru’s species - they’re eating one of them. Michael’s
nauseated attempts not to vomit is clear and painful.
At this point I’m not
shocked or anything really beyond a kind of condescending eye rolling. At this
point Georgiou needs to get herself an evil moustache to twirl and the
corridors of the ship must be covered in puppies so her every step is
accompanied by the yelping of kicked dogs. There comes a point when your
attempt to make the villains properly evil just ends up looking rather
cartoonish and makes the whole Terran empire just seem unworkable as a concept
- it’s already on that ledge with everyone pretty much living in terror of
random murder with their murderer getting a round of applause for being so
appropriately murdery. We don’t need telling the Emperor is a bad person; she’s
literally a fascist imperial warlord pushing genocide. We get it. Bad empire is
bad. She doesn’t need to eat people. Bad empire is bad, it keeps slaves who
aren’t even allowed a name - it doesn’t have to then eat those slaves.
She also brought in a
father - Lorca was Michael’s adoptive father and the Emperor’s right hand man.
And she was very very not amused that Lorca turned against her: and Michael
sided with him
Yes Terran Michael supported her evil dad/evil lover (yes they were lovers and yes Michael looks even more nauseated than when she was nibbling on Saru’s cousin) over her evil mother.
Catch up with Lorca -
an enemy of his who is pissed at Terran Lorca for doing something with his
sister (I think we’re going with a rape/sexual abuse theme here just in case
we’ve missed the oh-so-subtle hints that the Terrans are evil). Lorca of course
professes complete ignorance despite torture and despite one of Terran Lorca’s
loyal followers being brutally murdered. The man trying to avenge his sister
turns the agony box waaaay up, then worries that he has killed Lorca by mistake
- and lets him out
Back to the Emperor.
Michael is hereby accused of treason and is due to be executed. Because
Georgiou loves her, she will get a painless death. Yay, family love. Michael
decides the best way out of this is to tell the Emperor everything about the
Federation and who she really is and prove it with Captain Georgiou
(F!Georgiou)’s badge.
The Emperor promptly
murders all but one of the highest lords in the land to keep this secret and
remind us, yet again, that the Terran Empire is a) evil and b) UNWORKABLE. You
don’t just destroy 90% of your highest echelon of your leadership without
causing chaos!!! How does this empire work?!
So, not shockingly,
she actually knows about the Federation - after all they found the other
Federation ship. But reveals all of that crew’s minds were duly melted by the
trip so they’re not a lot of help.
Michael appeals for Georgiou’s help. Georgiou reminds her that the Federation and everything it is, everything it stands for and everything it believes is the very antithesis of everything the Terran Empire stands for. Basically WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK GEORGIOU WOULD HELP?!
Michael even offers
to give Georgiou the secret of the spore drive and the power to lead her empire
to their world to invade!? WHYYYYYY? And she trusts her! Really. Because
Federation Georgiou is a woman of honour she assumes that Nazi Georgiou us as
well?!
While Michael is busy
handing Georgiou everything on a platter, she notices Georgiou is light
sensitive. Georgiou reveals that this is a random biological difference between
Terran humans and normal humans: Terrans have light sensitivity
Like Lorca
Cut to Lorca who
isn’t debilitated by agony thanks to Michael’s pain killer - and kills the man
attacking him. Then says the man’s sister’s name -revealing he knows it and,
yes, he is Terran Lorca. We get some flashbacks of numerous scenes that now
make more sense now we see that he was never Federation!Lorca. Yes, fan theory
#5683 is correct. Lorca is evil, deliberately took them to the mirror world all
so he could try to kill Emperor Georgiou
Star Trek Discovery
has an addiction problem: Twists. TWIST: Tyler is a klingon! TWIST: our vaunted
gay relationship is a tired gaydeath trope. TWIST: Evil Tilly is captain.
TWIST: Georgiou is the Emperor! TWIST: Lorca is secretly Terran!
Thing is, except for
the gaydeath trope for which they may burn in a thousand angry fires, none of
these twists are necessarily bad (though the execution is terrible: their
inability to keep their mouths shut about Shazad Latif’s casting completely
spoiled the whole Tyler/Voq reveal as well as the whole dubious idea that
Terrans are light sensitive - and fans have managed to predict both
Georgiou AND evil!Lorca. Honestly I dismissed these fan theories as being a bit
too far fetched so… well, more fool me).
Twists are good.
Twists are great. Any of these twists could have been awesome (except
gaydeath). But you can’t built an entire show around your audience gasping
“heavens to betsy, I never saw this coming!” every other episode. Especially
when a significant portion of your audience apparently DID see this coming,
repeatedly
As for evil Lorca -
on the one hand I see the attraction: many people complained about the
unnecessary dark, grittiness of Discovery which just doesn’t reflect the
utopian nature of the franchise. I can see that - and Lorca being Terran kind
of exposes why Discover is so far apart, why Lorca so far from what a Star Ship
Captain should be (also, of course, it fits into some of his little behaviours
- like sleeping with a weapon and being afraid of being murdered in his sleep)
In some ways Star
Trek Discovery reminds me of a rookie GM for an RPG or a first time Urban
Fantasy writer with an epic world: they have lots and lots and lots of ideas
and don’t realise that they don’t need to use ALL of them right now. That
the Klingon war didn’t need the mirror world AS well, that we didn’t need this
many twists and surprises, that you can put down that fancy advanced monster
book you’re just dying to use and focus on the characters in front of you,
building them and the setting (something Discovery could have done more of)
rather than going romping around the psyonic underdark realm of werebadgers. I
mean, there’s apparently a war with the Klingons? Because we kind of talk about
it a lot without doing a whole lot of actual warring
I don’t think
Discovery is a bad show - enraged though I am by the death of POC and LGBTQ
people - but I think it could have been a lot better show if it had just been…
more carefully and, perhaps, less enthusiastically, crafted
