Nope, nope nope, stop this. Stop. I hate hate hate hate
this whole broken time line nonsense. Can we please just tell a story in neat chronological
order? And now with artsy pauses and dramatic walking and even repetition?
Stop.
So piecing together this hot mess of storytelling.
Hunter called Wally calls in Mary to help him with a
case. Because Wally is your basic decent hunter not Winchester
Apocalypse-it-must-be-Tuesday-hunters. You can tell by the way he’s freaked out
by the fact Lucifer has a kid while the Winchesters are pretty meh about it
He has a demon problem.
Demons! Yes these are actually a threat to the average
hunter. I know Dean and Sam spent the last 4 seasons pretty much focused on
demons and now regularly have mimosas with the king of hell which kind of takes
away the fear of demons. But, of you remember back to the heady days of seasons
1 & 2 (aside – don’t go back and watch these. Because you’ll see Baby!Dean
and think he was so cute and adorable and then remember you used to think he
was super hot, then feel like a cradle snatcher, then realise you were so much
younger then and THEN realise how old you are now and you’ll end up sitting in
a corner eating a whole tub of ice cream or going to a club drinking too much
and dancing in woefully regretful ways to prove you still got it. Either way it’s
not pretty and regret lies that way. So I’m told. By other people. Not me of
course) demons were actually waaaay up there in the scale of scary shit the
hunters didn’t want to face.
Of course the fact they’re carrying an arsenal of angel
blades around (he remember when they used to exorcise demons and try to save
their hosts?).
So they meet in a diner, make a plan, encourage Castiel
to flirt with the waitress (hey remember the whole terror of Nephilim thing?) and
she thoroughly takes control and owns that exchange.
And then it all goes to shit
The night fishing demon they’re hunting is way more than
a demon, has yellow eyes, is immune to their bullets and even the demon blade –
can take down Castiel and has some awesome weapons. He also has minions.
Wally ends up dead. Castiel severely injured with a
weapon that cancels angelic healing. Mary uses a big car as a weapon because
she’s Mary and practical like that.
Of course, a yellow
eyed demon is something
they have history with. Except… Azazel? He was scary and all – back when
Dean was adorkable – but Abaddon, Lucifer, god’s own sister have all come and
gone since then. To say nothing, again, of the mimosa parties with the King of
Hell. Azazel ain’t that scary any more.
Turns out that Mary was actually the one who called in
Wally – so she could call on Sam and dean without them realising. And it’s the
Men of Letters who’ve set her against this guy – much to Wally’s distrust (he
doesn’t buy what they’re selling) but she thinks she’s been doing awesomely
with their gear and intel
And she seems to have another motive – not killing the
demon but stealing from him and not telling the others.
That’s an arsehole move there Mary – people risking their
lives for your lies?
The Men of Letters totally deny they knew he had yellow
eyes, totes not their fault.
And then Crowley shows up. No mimosas but lots of insults. He’s not impressed by them – and this is Mary’s first introduction to the King of Hell. She’s not impressed. Nor am I, with Sam:
Sam; The demons, they were yours
Crowley: Obviously