Our main plot follows Clary – oh how thrilling. Alas it
is not her quest to a decent acting school, instead she’s going to the Iron
Sisters
Hey, remember how the Iron Sisters were totally Izzy’s dream and how she’d love to be one of these warrior women who make all the Shadowhunters’ weapons? Well that’s still her dream but now it’s going to be all about Clary. Clary joins Izzie on her trip because what delicate diplomatic mission isn’t improved by an emotional and ignorant novice? Especially when this mission is literally just Izzie and Clary
But when they get to the Iron Sisters it turns out they
have a purity bath to make sure nothing demonic stinks up the place. Izzie is
worried Clary may have been experimented on by her evil daddy, like Jace was
and may be full of demon blood. Of course she isn’t, she’s waaay too special
for that
Unlike poor Izzy who trips the bathing alarm because if
the addictive evil curey paste that Victor gave her. Hey, the evil healing
paste is demonic and he totally forgot to mention that. Oh and he totally didn’t
know they’d have a purity test. Since demony stuff apparently stops the magic
swords they’re making working properly and this happens to everyone who enters
their fortress I rather think this would be more common knowledge.
With Izzy properly sidelined, Clary gets to be the
special one who speaks to the Iron Sisters, speaking to Cleophas. Iron Sister and
sister to Luke. She reveals that the stolen sword is also an anti-demon blood
genocide nuke (which will kill all downworlders) which is most troublesome.
Also Jocelyn isn’t an angel and isn’t the reason why Clary has the special
sunny rune of sunniness. She’s just special. (Clary has insisted her mother was
an angel despite the clear proof this is not the case).
Izzie also overhears all this and reports to
evil/incompetent Victor despite the whole demon-paste thing
Victor also hates Jace and thinks he’s untrustworthy on
account of his vast untrustworthiness (let’s face it, he has a huge point here)
and is trying to drive Jace out
Time to catch up on the relationship that isn’t – Alec and
Magnus. Magnus resorts to sending an emergency message so he can finally spend
5 minutes with Alec (honestly, this is the relationship fandom is raving about,
really? This episode represents literally 80% of their conversations which aren’t
about Jace/Clary. And all they talk about is how Alec is a total virgin and
Magnus has slept with All the People in the History of Forever. It’s doubly
awkward because they HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP but suddenly we’re discussing past
partners? Hey they’re even talking about being in a relationship when they
literally spend no time together!
But they go home and kiss…. And that’s when Jace arrives
looking for a spare room. Really. Really. Jace it’s bad enough that all their
conversations are about you but you have to cockblock as well? You are the
WORST straight friend ever. Also, since when does Jace have a relationship with
Magnus that means he can couch surf at Magnus’s? What does Magnus owe him for
that? Seriously “semi-relationship with guy who has a constant unrequited crush
on you” is not a couch “mi casa es su casa” situation!
This constant service is aggravating.
Speaking of – hey remember Luke? The rest of the cast has
blatant remembered him. And by “rest of the cast” I mean Simon since Luke and
Magnus are double teaming as his mentor
Rafael has also put in a shift by wiping Simon’s mother’s
mind because seeing Simon chewing on rats is not something she’s dealt well
with. One memory wipe later and that’s all fine. He goes looking for Luke and
checks in with his pack which is generally not giving a shit. I don’t blame
them, as one pack member points out, Luke has generally not given a shit about
the Pack since, well, ever, being far far far far too busy serving Clary &
co rather than actually helping the people he’s supposed to lead
We do meet Maia, a werewolf who owes a lot to Luke as her
mentor and is happy to join Simon looking for him. They decide that Luke has
probably gone off somewhere to be alone so consumed with bad emotions about
Jocelyn’s death that he can’t control his shifting. He’s out in the woods
killing deer
Simon decides he knows where this is – where Luke used to
take him and Clary camping. Because if I were a werewolf risking running out of
control, I’d totally go somewhere where I know small children camp!
On the way Simon and Maia bond a lot about geeky things,
their most embarrassing moments as a downworlder and generally have a great
time together. They really work well, despite his babbling. These two have more
bonding in one episode than Magnus and Alec have had in 2 seasons.
They find Luke and Simon uses childhood memories to bring
him back to reality and now chow down on passing campers, nom nom nom. Luke is back in the game to serve again.
Meanwhile his sister, Cleophas, has decided to leave the
Iron Sisters and stab one of her fellows in the process. Well that’s one
dramatic resignation letter.
