The end is in sight dear readers, just one more episode
and we can see the promised land, we will have…
Wait.. do we have protection on Bonnie? We may need
protection on Bonnie….
Ok, so let’s look at the things on Vampire Diaries that I don’t care about and make my eyes roll:
Matt’s family drama: I haven’t found Matt to be a
relevant character since…. I haven’t found Matt to ever be a relevant
character. He’s some human who follows around the others and tries to look
scowly but instead looks pouty instead.
Bonnie and Enzo. As I’ve said repeatedly, this
relationship was dropped in out of nowhere for no damn good reason so I just
don’t get any of the emotion behind it
Stefan and Caroline: while this has more history than
Bonnie/Enzo, almost from the very first moment they realised they wanted to be together
there has been some woo-woo reason why they couldn’t be. Their stars have been
crossed so many times they’ve done a full circle and I have low limits on
relationship angst tolerance. Add in that their storyline is inevitably
connected to Stefan’s redemption/good-guy status and this show’s repeated
casting of him as the “good one” next to Damon’s “bad boy” and I’m done with
it. Also Caroline’s one of only 2 characters I like in this series. She can do
better
Still want Caroline and Bonnie to Thelma and Louise it
into the sunset.
This season being all about all of those things has not
exactly thrilled me. And this episode is all about those things as well so this
is my not thrilled face over this episode.
So, we learn that Katherine is apparently the big bad and
now controls Hell for Reasons and is going to bring them all down for revenge.
It’s decided that the best way to deal with this is to lure her out. And what
better way to lure her out than use Stefan as bait – the man she was always
obsessed with getting married to another woman. That’ll do it.
Of course this means that Stefan’s going to get his
happily ever after and everyone’s going to come together and play happy families
so we need some very very quick resolutions of issues:
Damon is quick to step up to declare that evil Stefan was
an entirely different person so Stefan doesn’t have to feel the guilts.
Damon even pulls his patented “this is all Katherine’s
fault” line which he did before to absolve himself of all the bad things he’s
done.
Alaric has an almost painful moment with Dorian about how
the murders committed by the Salvatores have brought them all together as a
family. Yes I’m heavily paraphrasing here but uckies uckies uckies
It’s a bit harder for Caroline to get Bonnie in the
wedding because Bonnie is still not thrilled about Stefan murdering Enzo and
all. Bonnie makes it clear to Caroline she can’t be part of it – and Caroline
understands at least and even acknowledges that Bonnie remaining friends with
her in the circumstances is pretty amazing. Excellent. Sadly ghostly Enzo is
there to continually tell Bonnie why he should totally forgive Stefan, that
Stefan is all good and it was a totally different Stefan who did the bad thing.
So Bonnie shows up at the wedding anyway, burying her anger
for the sake of the wedding
Among all this are lots of wedding preparations and
Alaric all conflicted about Caroline getting married and lots of presents and
everyone getting read. Even the twins can attend because of a protection spell
that’s been placed on them (which they won’t siphon because… reasons… I guess?)
Caroline and Damon have a moment so we can try to pretend
they’re friends.
Anyway that’s lots of wedding stuff
We also have Matt drama – and the reappearance of Kelly,
his mother. Who he’s also not thrilled to see given it’s another parent who abandoned
him. Just as I as beginning to roll my eyes at more Matt family drama, it turns
out Kelly died – and went to hell and is now back as a Katherine minion (in
between killing people to stay in the real world like Kai had to). In between
making dramatic wedding breaking speeches, half murdering Matt’s dad (but only
half alas) she also tries to burn down the house with Bonnie and the twins in
it
To escape the flames Bonnie has one choice – let the
twins siphon her magic (which she has to keep the psychic link with Enzo going)
to cast a fire quenching spell. Doing so will sever her link with Enzo – which he
begs her to do so she can live. And so she can go on suffering all alone
because Bonnie is always tragic, it is known.
What, really? That’s what it took? You mean cade could actually
have been simply defeated, his psychic plane removed, if a siphoner touched
him? That was all it would have taken?
This elaborate scheme was all a distraction so Vicky,
Matt’s sibling, can also escape hell and use her equally special family ties to
ring the hell bell 12 times and burn Mystic Falls. Oh, yes, the gang have kept
the hell bell all set up to ring. And even kept the clapper in it. No, really,
they have, they’ve done nothing to remove, sabotage or render safe this bell.
These people…
All used up form lack of murders Kelly collapses… and so
does Bonnie. Vampire Diaries, you
better not be killing Bonnie to bring Elena back
