Once we dredge through some more tiresome ra-ra colonial
wankery which is getting beyond boring at this point, we’re reminded of the
current stakes: there’s a race on to find a totem to create the horsemen of
war. To confirm this, Alex has also successfully managed to hack into Malcolm’s
secret location to spy on him also looking for the totem
It’s also floated that the Apocalypse brought on by the
four horseman isn’t all about the end of the world but is actually about
recreating the world.
Well duh. I mean, really, you had to do research to discover
this? You didn’t think maybe that Malcolm doesn’t have a complete death wish,
maybe?
This research leads to lots of convenient memories from Jake
and Ichabod about how there was a split off branch of the Masons called the
Amata Mutata or something who wanted to use the four horsemen to change the
world. Eidetic memory Ichabod has just remembered this point which should have
been super obvious
It turns out that the super powerful totem of war was
actually in Revolutionary America (I am shocked, SHOCKED by this revelation.
Clearly it was kept next to Excalibur – complete with rock, under a stack of
the weapons of Durga but just before the Arc of the Covenant all of which will
no doubt also have been part of George Washington’s conversational dinner
pieces). And once Ichabod and Banneker were transporting it. We also get
another bit of nauseating rhetoric of Ichabod convincing a very suspicious
Banneker to trust to the new America where all men will be equal because he has
a total vision of how equal and democratic America will be if he’s just patient
enough.
Banneker, you better work on that patience because it’s going to be sorely tried. This is beyond annoying because Banneker was actually an excellent opportunity to offer a counter narrative to Ichabod’s endless flag waving and the whole general impression Sleepy Hollow has that the Founding Fathers were giants of nobility and power and were battling harpies and colossus and lamasu and who knows what else in righteous fury all in the name of freedom. His narrative helped to peel back a lot of the glossing over that comes with this ra-ra-Ichabod speech. But to have his every concern be hand waved by Ichabod’s “be patient” speech – especially without even modern Ichabod saying “well looks like I was just talking bullshit, sorry Banneker” is an issue
Diana also snarks that Ichabod seems to have been
everywhere during the Revolutionary war. Show you don’t get points for lamp
shading how utterly ridiculous your own concept is.
So they now have a rough idea where said item is.
But they’ve also got competition – a mysterious woman
steals one of their books; when Jenny chases her down and they fight – and Jenny
loses. As Jenny puts it, she seems to know her moves before she used them: they
make it clear that Jenny has some major skills.
For now Diana and Ichabod go to fetch where they think
the totem of war was hidden – and it’s now a very trendy restaurant and Ichabod
and Diana are most put out that the owner doesn’t just let them search and
ransack the place for funsies
So they break in later and find the box – and the thief
from earlier. And Jobe. Demons kind of change things but it turns out the thief
is not Team Malcolm and she has a happy crystal of weird time magic which does
bad things to demons for a while: Jobe is put out of action. But so is she,
allowing Ichabod and Diana to take her and the War Totem (which is a gun forged
out of lots of mythological swords which ended up in America for REASONS)
When she comes to she introduces herself as Lara and how
she utterly has to destroy the gun to stop Malcolm (oh and Ichabod comments on
the very dangerous time magic she has) from creating a new Horseman of War. She
also speaks of Malcolm as someone she’s known for a long time and how she’s
very not in favour of the terrible world he will create
Sounds like they have a common cause – yet she still
decides to lock them up so she can go destroy the gun all by herself because of
course she does.
But let’s interlude to the rest of the gang: Alex and
Jake continue to play the sexual tension game over and over and honestly this
is dull, get on with it or drop the storyline because this is a distraction we
do not need. Using Alex’s hacking skills they go with Jenny to where Malcolm is
hiding
Jenny has also accepted her job from last week – so she’s
going to be disappearing soon (and I’m still conflicted about this). This means
she wants to make sure Alex and Jake are able to handle things on their own. So
they go spying on Malcolm’s compound and promptly get captured. Before they’re
rescued by Jenny, their relationship issues and demon torture means Jake spills
out what Ichabod and Diana are doing and about Lara
So when Lara arrives at the spot (a mystical fire of Hephaestus/Vulcan. In America.) for destroying the Totem of War (a gun) the demon and Malcolm are there as well. Diana and Ichabod show up and there’s a fight. Of course the fact that Malcolm is all immortal means the fight doesn’t go that well but it does confirm that Malcolm is immortal in case they hadn’t guessed
But pause the fight – we need an info-dump! Lara appears
to Malcolm since she knows the future he’s created, because she’s from the
future! (Did you catch that not-subtle hint about time magic!) and she’s come
back in time with the help of Future Ichabod to stop Malcolm creating the
Horseman of War and creating all this mess. Especially since the Horseman of
War is her mother – and after her mother disappears she is raised by Malcolm
Yes, this is future Molly! I wondered how long they were
going to go with the child witness: this is a definite twist around it though I
do think there were multiple excellent stories of Jenny and Molly and growing
up around witness-ness that they’ve missed
With these revelations it’s back to the action – bad guys
are taken off pause – and Malcolm tries to shoot Diana with the gun of war
despite Molly begging
And he hits Ichabod. Who flames up and starts babbling
about war… this is a twist I did not expect!
