Last episode Malcolm seemed to achieve immortality demon
defeated and all sorts of things – so now it’s time of a monster of the week,
but with some decent bonding along the way and some exploration of Diana and
Molly
It’s Molly’s 11th birthday coming up which
comes with Ichabod learning about modern childhood toys and Diana becoming
increasingly concerned about the whole witness things since Milly is still a
child. She’d rather be Witness by proxy and preferably tell Molly as little as
possible despite Ichabod saying it’s probably not going to work that way
Into this comes Mitch, Molly’s father, Diana’s ex. And
this could get messy. This could end up with Ichabod being irrationally jealous
or lots and lots of jokes about Ichabod and Diana being a couple or Diana
looking at her ex and seeing he’s still interested but realising she’s
interested in Ichabod more…. And thankfully none of that happened. Not once. I
think the eternally clueless writers of Sleepy
Hollow realised that this soon after Abbie absolutely no-one, not one damn
person, was here to see Ichabod head down the quasi romantic path with someone
else. No-one (and if anyone does? You’re a bad person who should feel bad.)
It was surprisingly mature in a genre which generally
doesn’t handle relationships in anything resembling a sensible or reasonable
manner (and by “genre” I mean “media in general. At all. Ever.”) it works well.
Ichabod encourages Diana to pursue her relationship if she wants to, realising
what she actually wants. She explores her issues with Mitch, why the split up
and why the whole Witness thing makes it a much more difficult time to
reintroduce a 2 year missing father into the mix may be
While Mitch turns out to be reasonable, kind, patient, definitely wanting to reconnect with both but respecting Diana and her boundaries.
And he’s a werewolf.
Or a Barghest – except Barghest is actually a northern
English monster and doesn’t especially resemble this – it’s a werewolf.
Said werewolf has been killing people and, like so many
monsters, it turns out to be from ye olde colonial days which Ichabod has just
remembered. And like every monster from ye olde colonial days, the people then
decided to lock it in some American Artefact (the Liberty bell is actually
Dracula’s tomb. The Washington Monument has Anubis impaled in the bottom).
Despite the fact this creature literally needs killing with sharp rock.
Anyway, said Barghest rips out hearts but first shifts into a human being that person trust so they can get close to them which is apparently super important and you can’t just jump on people and eat their hearts. Nope, trust is needed
And lo, Mitch arrived out of the blue – yes the Barghest.
The show is silent about how this Barghest from colonial America knows about
Hover Boards, Dana’s coffee preferences or even how the moern world works. But
apparently he does. Colonial Barghests always know about the dash of vanilla
you like in your coffee. They were all empowered with supernatural barista
abilities but, alas, are European monsters that existed before Europeans
discovered coffee (the darkest stage in history) so instead they became cursed
dog creatures.
To find this barghest barista they turn to Jenny
Jenny has returned to Sleepy Hollow to check on sexy
naked demon Jobe who she now imprisons. Alas she gives him some covering but
she does ask the question I’ve been asking repeatedly – why the hell is Jobe
helping Malcolm break his contract? She doesn’t get an answer, but she does get
a clue that Malcolm is still alive.
He keeps trying to make deals with Jenny to be freed
while she’s very “you think this is my first rodeo?!”. But when Barghest
Barista kidnaps Molly she agrees to let Jobe go so long as he shows them where
Molly is.
He keeps his word and Diana and Ichabod arrive to give him a good stone stabbing. Barghest defeated
In the aftermath they help comfort Molly about what just
happened. Especially since she blames herself – she did a lot of research about
the Witnesses and her drawing symbols may have attracted the monster. Diana
takes responsibility for this due to making Diana do her own research rather
than talking to her about it
Of course Ichabod is also there for some gentle reassurance
that he will always be there in case some more oddly coffee-educated beasties
escapes from George Washington’s perfectly preserved underwear drawer.
Oh, and Malcolm’s back – wearing rags and babbling
inanely he promptly fires his entire board of directors
So next week I’m assuming the shareholders have him
removed based on his obvious diminished capacity. Because large companies with
shareholders don’t get to change the entire board on the whims of someone
apparently in the middle of a psychotic break. No, not even Apple.
