Last week Selene the siren kidnapped the twins for their
arcane plot. She meets up with Sybil and Damon and everything starts to get a
little less ideal for Seline
Firstly she’s had to accelerate her plans, she didn’t
intend to run off with the kids while they were still kids, and certainly not
with an Amber Alert to navigate: or to have her sister in tow snarking away and
making it clear she’s really really really not over Seline being free for a
century and not doing anything to rescue her. It’s not a happy family reunion
Seline’s master plan is basically to trade the twins to
Cade in exchange for her and Sybil’s own service. They would get to run off,
with a get-out-of-hell-free card and the twins would take their place.
Something they have to do of their own free will – which would have been easier
with a few more years of brainwashing the kiddies.
Damon starts playing his own game because she’s just
given him light – after all, he had embraced this nihilism service to Sybil on
the grounds that he was inevitably going to hell and there was absolutely no
choice but to go to hell unless he served Sybil. Well, now here’s Seline
talking about making a deal and finding a way out. Damon’s all about short cuts
and easy options.
Everyone else is also chasing them – firstly we have
Sybil further sabotaging them by tormenting Enzo’s brain meats because he dared
to leave her, how very dare he. This allows Bonnie to wring her hands and do very
little and Stefan to play around in Enzo’s brain to get clues to Selene and
Sybil’s location.
Caroline and Alaric are focused ultimately on getting
their kids back, to such a degree that Caroline puts her engagement to Stefan
on hold because she can’t be distracted (especially if she has to kill Damon to
get to the children) by Stefan’s angst and issues. While Alaric completely goes
into full rage, openly frightening Seline over the phone with his threats, smashing
things and planning to get his daughters away from all things supernatural. He
even denies the children are Caroline’s children when she objects to this.
Eventually Seline leads her group to a motel where she
plans to make the deal with Cade – but Damon and Sybil have out manouvered her.
They lure Stefan in, alone (because he’s a damn noble fool. Beware the Stupid
Good alignment) and force him to fight a motel full of angry humans who have
been siren’d to kill him
Apparently Stefan lost his super speed and strength
somewhere along the way? Did he drop it? Because these humans should have been
a brief annoyance. Vampires literally move faster than the human eye can track.
We’ve seen these multiple times. This is not a threatening experience for
Stefan. And then to have the big show down be a big dude? A big dude. Stefan’s
a vampire. I don’t care if he’s fighting the Mountain that Rides, any human
relying on pure strength to win a fight will not end well.
Stefan kills the man and is duly angsty. Because this one
man troubles him unlike the eleven gajillion people he’s already killed. But it’s
ok Damon has an opt out. A get out of hell for free card
Because Damon and Stefan offer themselves to Cade as replacements
for Seline and Sybil. Freeing the sirens and saving the children. They’re
willing – Damon will do anything to avoid hell and Stefan loves to be a noble
sacrifice for the kids – and powerful old vampires are more of a prize than
siphoner babies anyway.
Cade accepts
Sybil revels in double crossing her sister
Stefan and Caroline have The Angst
Enzo and Bonnie can go on being all lovey dovey but I don’t
believe it
And Caroline drags Alaric on the carpet for daring to say
that she’s not the mother to two children she gave birth to and raised and
loved just because they don’t share her genes. He rightly apologises. They both
wrongly decide that to keep the kids safe they need to take them away from the
vampires
Sorry Alaric we need a reality check here. Now I’d be the
first to say all the humans in this series really really need to get away from
the vampires who randomly kill people for funsies. But they need to get the
girls away from vampires to keep them safe?
Seriously? There are two times to the best of my memory
when these kids have been under threat. Firstly when they were in the womb and
Jo was killed by her evil brother – who killed her because she was a witch and
he was a witch and the twins were witches and ultimately no-one cared about
vampireness. And now, when the siren Seline targeted them for being siphoners.
Again, the presence or otherwise of vampires is irrelevant to this. These
children have never ever been targeted because of vamprieness. In fact, since
siphoning is both a) an excellent weapon against vampires and b) something the
witches consider to be utterly horrendously awful, vampires are highly unlikely
to be an issue but would make useful allies.
The whole “you need to get the kids away from the
vampires who love them, care for them and will fight for them” to keep them
safe makes no sense.
Oh and Matt and Alaric kill Damon. Yeah he goes all grey
and staked but we know that’s not going to happen – he’s just made his
immortality pact with Cade, so spare me the fake out
