Croatoan has been revealed to be William Shatner,
instantly making him 8 bajillion times less scary but still rather creepy in
that paternal kind of way with additional shiny super powers. He insists on
trying to play the adoring father. He wants her to go back with him to their
home wherever that is – which turns out to be very much like ours with both
good and bad (terrible décor but it has coffee).
No matter what she says, he insists that she’s his
daughter. They then talk their epic epic family issues with him wanting to play
happy families and she pointing out that he’s actually killed many members of
that family (though we have a final reason for why the Colorado Kid, James, was
killed – because of Lucy had killed him, the person she loved the most, to set
off the Barn it would have ended the Troubles). His “I’ve killed everyone
because I loved you the mostist” is, of course, neither endearing nor
reassuring.
“I will kill for you and have killed people you love for
you”, is totally not sweet. Even if several books we’ve read will argue that
point. Croatoan is also stab proof and brutally abusive – but hey he can heal
with woo-woo. Yes, Croatoan can control the Troubles – to him the Troubles are
super powers without the downside or side effects.
He also expositions why he was banished – the
recklessness he was banished for was to save her life (putting aether into his
daughter to boost her immune system). Uh-uh, and the random killings are
totally justified by this because….? Oh yes, they’re not.
However it does tell us why Croashatner needs Audrey –
because the aether in her makes her super-duper aether user and with that he
can make awesome Troubles to flood the place with Aether and then create
evil-super-duper powers they can go home with
Duke is rampaging around killing Troubled people while
Nathan and Dwight plan to try and stop him. This involves, like so many shows,
setting a tap for him and then having absolutely no plans for him when he
arrives. Thankfully random conscience shows up allowing them to drug him and
chain him up (with special Trouble Chains they had helpfully hanging around).
Now Nathan tries to emotionally connect to evil Duke. Are
we going to have a whole episode of various people trying to connect with the
deep and meaningful feelings the other has even while there’s a whole lot of
creepy going on?
Anyway Nathan plays right into Duke and Croashatner’s
hands (hey those chains which nullify 1 Trouble don’t neutralise all Troubles
which would have been obvious to anyone with decent brain. Alas, this is Haven) deciding to bring evil!Duke into
close proximity to a whole census of Haven
and associated Troubles – a menu for Croashatner to snack on.
Nathan gets to live and Croashatner decides to let Audrey
go – he has a new tactic. Apparently he’s going to spread joy and happiness for
all: so if Audrey doesn’t co-operate they lose their shinies. This is… a surprisingly
good plan. Step 1 involves giving Dwight his daughter back
Howard and Vince discuss the Barn – how it will basically
suck all the aether with it (including Croatoan). Except Howard is broken so
they need a new barn controller. Vince decides to pout and stomp –but like
thousands of computer programmers before him he’s found having a temper tantrum
with a programme doesn’t get you far. But the writers belatedly realise that if
this is going to be their one POC not just this season but last season to they
might as well TRY to make him a person – so quickly paste on a backstory. Turns
out he was a human before (one of Mara’s people) who was so outraged by the
horrendous things Mara did that he sacrificed himself to becoming an object, a
programme to guard Mara and save all the, well, let’s be frank, White people
she was hurting (perhaps originally it was more than just White people since we
go back to before Europeans came to the Americas with Haven, but let’s be clear about just how white this show is). Only
now he’s “compromised” and can’t even remember why he cared so is now a broken
tool
Ok… so that was the writers trying to humanise their one
POC. Let’s not try next time, ‘kay?
They’re much better with Vince’s deep and abiding pain over
his brother’s death before offering to be the next sacrifice for the Barn,
become the new controller. Naturally Vince and Dave have always been willing to
sacrifice themselves for Haven – Vince
doesn’t even slightly hesitate to become the new Controller
Vince looks like he’s having a much better story than,
well, anyone else on the show.
While I am still sceptical about Croatoan, he has a level
of craftiness that has long been missing for this show. For the first time in a
long time with this season I am actually intrigued. I mean if he can control
the Troubles he can do phenomenal good – and that’s got to be a draw for
Audrey. Not threats, but a simply demonstration of what she can do with
Troubles she can control. In some ways this makes it a shame they didn’t continue
the theme of using Troubles to try and save them which we saw pop up at the
beginning of the season when Haven
first devolved into a dystopian horror movie.
Of course, there’s that pesky murdering side of things as
well.
