Carol and Phil are still separated, with Carol waiting for Phil at the gas station and Phil waiting for Carol in Tuscon. Carol tries her best to amuse herself by talking to an inflatable doll and doing scratch tickets. She has also finished ridiculously designing the shirt that lead to her separation from Phil in the first place. Each time we see Carol, she is doing something ridiculous and desperate to try and find Phil.
In Tuscon, Phil has discovered that many of his personal items have been burned, including Babe Ruth's bat. Phil has taken to his balls again, wondering why Carol hasn't arrived and how he can send her a message. Phil's first attempt to find Carol involves blowing up some balloons and tossing them into the air, only belated realising that for this to work, he should have used helium. When Phil sees a train track, he gets another burst of inspiration.
A desperate Carol lies down on the ground but sits up suddenly when she hears a train whistle. Carol follows the sound to the tracks and arrives in time to see a long train go by with a message from Phil, saying that he is not a jerk and is in Tuscon.
Still awaiting Carol's arrival, Phil starts a new plan. He sends a steamroller down the street. On the roller is a message to tell Carol where he is. Naturally, any plan involving Phil isn't going to work out quite right. After the steamroller rolls over Bryce, (one of his balls) it crashes a few hundred feet away. A defeated Phil falls to ground, smacking himself in the head, screaming that he deserves to be alone.
Phil's moment of self pity is short lived because Carol arrives. The two of them kiss and then bicker about where Phil left Carol. Phil promises to never let Carol out of his sight again and the two have sex on the road. Carol is excited to return to the cul de sac and see the others. When they get back to Phil's burnt out house, Carol is surprised, claiming that this isn't like the group and questioning why they didn't leave a note. They decide to take their reunion back to Carol's old place, where Carol confesses that she originally thought that Phil left her at the gas station on purpose because they had a fight. It wasn't until Carol saw the train that she believed that Phil truly changed. Phil says that he just wants to be a better man for Carol. Shouldn't he try becoming a man first instead of the weird manchild that he is now?
Carol leaves the epic manchild to put on something more comfortable. The manchild finds a note saying that the group has gone to Malibu and warns Carol not to bring the manchild because it wouldn't be safe. Does the selfish manchild share what he knows? Of course not. The minute Carol walks back into the room, Phil hides the note behind his back and drinks a toast with her about him being honest Abe.
Phil dreams that he wakes up and finds a note from Carol calling him a skunk, saying that she has left to go to Malibu. In his dream, the Manchild drives to Malibu and along the way the other Phil drives a knife through the roof of his car and swings part way through the window, choking the Manchild and in the process, reminding him that he wasn't to come to Malibu. A startled Phil sits up but guess what? He's still dreaming. When Phil moves the sheets, Melissa suddenly jumps up with an automatic weapon and starts firing. Yes, this is when Phil actually wakes up.
Carol enters the room to comfort Phil because of his double nightmare. Carol asks Phil if he dreamed that his penis fell off and if he wants to talk about it. Of course, Phil cannot talk about it because it would mean revealing his lie. Carol starts to look for a note and so Phil asks if she would be happy if they never found the others. Carol smiles saying that she would and then heads outside to check the billboards for notes from the group.
Alone, Phil seeks advice from his balls. He is still trying to decide whether or not to tell Carol and admits that he feels bad for her because while he has his balls, Carol has nothing. Later that night, Carol and Phil sit around the old campfire surrounded by blow up dolls the Manchild has fashioned to look like the group. Phil tries to encourage Carol to speak to the blow up dolls and she makes a small effort for his sake. Carol has to excuse herself when the effort brings her to tears. The Manchild yells at the blow up doll that he made of Phil.
Phil finds a crying Carol and finally admits that the group is in Malibu while showing Carol the note he found. Carol is not impressed that Phil kept this from her and he says that he had no choice and only did because he cares about her. When challenged again, Phil admits that he is terrified to go to Malibu but even more terrified to see Carol sad. With that, Carol declares that they are staying in Tuscon because if the group doesn't want Phil, then she doesn't want the group. The two actually bicker about whether to stay or go. Phil concedes that they are staying in Tuscon and suggests that they have a drink to celebrate. Phil starts pouring heavily and gets Carol drunk.
When Carol awakes, she is in RV. Carol heads to the front and complains about being driven to Malibu without her consent but Phil throws Carol's sacrificial words from earlier at her. Phil and Carol decide to check out the beach and find it covered in beached and rotting wales.
Driving down the road they see smoke from a fire and pull over. Phil and Carol dawn their camouflage and sneak up on the group, to find them singing Snow's Informer to accordion accompaniment. No one, and I mean no one needs to hear this shit. Looking through binoculars they see that the group has acquired a new member. Phil says that he is really nervous and Carol suggests that she go down and talk to the group first. Carol promises that Phil is in good hands. The two kiss and Carol removes her camouflage and heads down to the group. On the beach, Carol yells, "boo" and Gordon, the new member of the group drops dead of fright.
Are we really only two seasons in? It feels longer. Well, Phil and Carol are back together. I'm actually glad it happened quickly because I don't think I could have done a few episodes of Phil whining about how lonely he is and generally being a disgusting pig. We got more than enough of that last season thank you very much.
Phil hasn't changed one little bit. His first instinct was to hide the note from Carol because it benefited him. Giving the note to her when he finally felt guilty about Carol being sad does not make up for his initial asshole behaviour. It seems however that no matter what nasty thing Phil does, Carol is going to stay faithful to him. I know dogs who would have said screw the loyalty shit and ditched Phil by now. Let's face it, Carol has options but somehow, she is still choosing Phil.
As we saw from the previews, the next week is going to have some manufactured bs because Carol tells the group that Phil is dead. I am already not looking forward to this. I'm sure however it won't be long until Phil is reintegrated to the group and starts up his usual horseshit. Fun wow.
On a finally note, I wonder if I should send a bill to the producers of the show for harm down to my person for having to hear an accordion version of Informer? Wasn't the original version bad enough without this?
