Evil Regina heads to the Villains to go undercover and…
We pause this recap to spend a moment to simply bask in
the awesomeness of Maleficent’s outfit. BASK I say.
…*ahem* Regina makes her case for being big and bad and
wanting to destroy some happiness (personally I would have gone with “go speak
to Mary Margaret and David. Just have one conversation. Then ask me why I want
to turn evil.”) This involves proving she’s evil which seems to involve taking
a shot.
Time for a flashback to the Enchanted Forest back to the
days when Regina was slowly sliding into evil with lots of bitter hatred for
step-daughter Snow White, all fanned by Rumplestiltskin. This is before Regina
has magic and she begs Rumple to help – all the while positively hero
worshipping Maleficent and her super evil powerful magic of ubervengeance.
Since Rumple is taking too long to teach her, she wants to learn from Maleficent.
Dumped on Maleficent’s doorstep, young Regina tries to
impress her mentor; and finds Maleficent rather washed out and apparently drunk
(or drugged, since it’s woo-woo). She’s all bitter about Sleeping Beauty and
kicks Regina out with her pep talks. But she returns with news that Briar Rose’s
daughter is getting married – so more vengeance needed! Maleficent is bemused
as to why Regina is so invested in her revenge when she realises Regina is on
her own bitter vengeance quest. But Maleficent has gone of vengeance- and lost
her fire.
Regina tries to get her all fired up – which ends up with
them being captured by prince Stefan, Aurora’s father. Maleficent’s magic
fizzles embarrassingly. Thankfully, young Regina being the plucky villain that
could inspires Maleficent to go all dragony again. She’s back in the vengeance
game – and it’s time for Aurora to get the spinning wheel.
And Regina returns to Rumple, freshly eager for super
vengeance.
In Storybrooke, Mary Margret and David explain that
Regina is going undercover to Emma who does not think this is a good idea. At.
All. And Regina is now late to check in. Because they’re playing villain games-
which involves parking on train tracks and seeing who I “soft” enough to save
them from inevitable doom first. Regina cracks. Personally I think this is less
“gone soft” and more not being suicidal. Since when is self-preservation and
being smart enough not to play on train tracks heroic? Have they not seen the
Charmings?
Emma is all panicky the next day looking for Regina. I
would love this a lot more if I weren’t slightly concerned that her worry is “zomg
Regina is evil again!”. Even more worrying, the 4 villains hit Granny’s and
drank all the booze and I didn’t get to see it?! Seriously that would have been
the best night out ever!
Mary Margaret waffles and whimpers when she and David
find a burnt out police car. Regina is there and explains she has had to
unleash some minor mayhem to convince the villains she’s on their side. The
Charmings are, of course, terrible and disapprove of the fact Regina didn’t
gain all the villain’s secrets in one night.
The three villains met with Rumple and he does entertain
the possibility that Regina could turn evil since heart break does have a habit
of bringing out her worst side. He also talks ominously about a war.
Maleficent tries to tempt Regina further to the dark side
– with news about them looking for the Author.
Time for a clandestine meeting! Or not “why did you bring
the entire Charming softball team and their pirate mascot?!” Line of the night
to Regina. Emma is worried that Regina is out of her depth and, unlike the
Charmings, actually worried about her. Anyway the villain masterplan is
recounted – while Regina wants to change her fate, the villains want to shift
the balance so villains always win and heroes always lose. Not so good.
Actually that would mean the Charmings losing
Oh look, I’m team villain again. They’re also MUCH better
dressed.
Regina has been given a task to steal something so Emma
decides that she must join in; if she can’t talk Regina out of this then she
will be with her all the way. Unfortunately what she’s been told to steal is… Pinocchio.
Emma isn’t a fan of this plan, especially with everyone being dubious and
secretive, but Regina thinks a little kidnapping is worth the risk. Emma
reluctantly agrees – but Regina dumps her phone that Emma was tracking her on
Killian actually does research, which means speaking to
Belle (and interrupting her… date? With Will. Is Belle dating him?) and suggesting
that maaaaaybe the Dark One is behind the three villains. Mainly they’re
worried about them getting their hands on the dagger to control Rumple or
become Rumple – and since Rumple is ultimate cosmic evil power, this would be a
bad thing. So she should give the dagger to him
The pirate
I vote no. Belle votes yes. But before she hands it over
she checks to see if Rumple is in town and uses the dagger to demand he appear
and face her. He doesn’t so she drives off – and Killian gets a lovely evil
grin and morphs into Rumple. RumpleKillian also notices that Belle is being “admired”
by Will. Bitter Rumplekillian is very bitter indeed.
Regina has won the trust of the villains – and learns that
Rumple has joined the bad guys. And he has his dagger. Which also puts her in a
difficult position defending Pinocchio should the need arise. The first step
involves Rumple turning Pinocchio back to August
The Charmings are the worst. This just has to be repeated
every other episode at least. They’re so inept, so clueless. More and more I am convinced these useless
people couldn’t possibly have run a kingdom. Their attempts to use Regina are
beyond inept and dangerous
I do like that Emma is genuinely concerned for Regina –
not her mission or utility.
Maleficent and Regina are just effortlessly awesome in
this episode. Constantly, amazingly awesome. From young, innocent Regina to
faded and jaded Maleficent and then them both at the top of their game.
On a less clear note - I'm not quite sure if we just had a whole lot of sexual tension between two women dropped in a show that continues to erase LGBT people (and, no, I'm not even counting Mulan any more) especially given how many people behind the show have stomped down on any suggestion of female pairings or if it's just because Lana Parilla could have chemistry with the furniture.
I love the Knave, so I’m not bitter that they seem to be
dropping him in in a desperate attempt to keep him around despite having no
idea what to do with him. Because he’s awesome.
One teeny issue – Rumple can see the future. That was
always one of his powers from the seer, way back. Wouldn’t that make him hard
to pull an undercover con on?
