For 5 brief seconds, Mary Margaret almost pretended to be
a tough and no-nonsense character last episode. So now she’s having guilt
dreams about some nebulous thing she did to Maleficent and the terrible revenge
she will wreak against Mary Margret’s family
I have to vote in favour of terrible revenge being wreaked against the Charmings. More wreaking!
She wakes up and she and David fret over the upcoming
vengeance wreaking
At this rate I’m going to stop even pretending I’m not Team Evil.
Time for an Enchanted Forest flashback – David and Mary
Margaret returning from the honeymoon with Mary Margaret focused on the Evil
Queen (Regina) still being out there looking to do some vengeful wreaking. They
come home to find the whole castle is under a sleeping curse. In the castle
they’re met by the three villains looking to make a deal. Of course, Regina
got the Dark Curse that created Storybrooke from Maleficent back in season 1 so
they know she has it – and don’t particularly want her to use it either. To
defeat Regina they need to speak to a magical fae tree of knowledge (hereby
known as the Wikitree) that doesn’t like evil people so much (though cringe at
the ego of David who assumes “most valiant heroes” means him and Mary
Margaret).
The villains plan to escort Mary Margaret and David to
the Wikitree. On the way they run into guards who don’t really want to let
villains cross a bridge – so Maleficent roasts them. Mary Margaret and David
protest… and let it go. They do try to ditch the villains to go to the Wikitree
alone – but it refuses to answer their questions. They failed the valiant hero
test. Someone Wasn’t worthy.
They draw swords when the villains catch up which is kind
of hilarious given how powerful the three are. Apparently the tree rejected
them not because they’re not worthy (c’mon that could be an answer!) but
because Mary Margaret is pregnant and her baby isn’t a valiant hero.
Opportunities of heroism are few in a womb – and potential for great good comes
with an equal potential for great evil (super duper evil).
That night we inch closer to the big dark secret –
Maleficent visits Mary Margaret to appeal for them to work together in the name
of their shared motherhood. Maleficent is pregnant and doesn’t want her child
to suffer Regina’s curse. Mary Margaret refuses in the name of their integrity
and keeping her baby pure.
In Storybrooke the villains are having trouble fitting in
(and the Knave is present, all is good in the world – also did he just call
granny “mum?”) with added snark of bringing up Regina’s evil past in front of
Henry which Regina considers a terrible faux pas. She still insists to Mary
Margaret that redemption is possible and she’s not really entertaining Mary Margaret
and David’s fears
So David goes to Emma (and it seems Ursula and Killian
have had dealings in the past) to convince her to follow the villains
Who go to Gold – Belle’s – shop to be duly threatened with a toad potion. At some point in the past the villains kidnapped Belle (Cruella barely remembers it, it all blurs together) and they congratulate her on what an utter mess Rumple has become for lots of Belle conflict. While they talk, Ursula uses her tentacle to steal a box. This is part of their plot to bring Maleficent back
As David and Emma stalk the villains, Emma realises there’s a little more to David’s obsession than “aargh villains!” But Belle has discovered the missing wooden box (she has some awesome inventory skills) so they pull the villains over. David finds the box, insider which is what looks like the head of Maleficent’s staff. He lies to Emma and says he didn’t find anything.
Waaaaait, doesn’t everyone know by now that it’s
impossible to lie to Emma? Emma grows ever more suspicious but doesn’t call him
on the lie. To add to the suspicions, she asks Killian who he knows Ursula and
he dodges the question. And then Mary Margaret and David try to convince her
they’re going “hiking” and totally don’t care about the villains
Y’know, it wouldn’t take a magical lie detector to sniff
the bullshit here
David goes to Mary Margaret and they realise that the villains
are trying to resurrect Maleficent and to stop this they need to do away with
her remains buried under the library. They head off – and run into Ursula and
Cruella – Ursula knocking them both unconscious with one tentacle.
They also take the opportunity to taunt Rumple about
Belle, of course. They resurrect Maleficent with the blood of Mary Margaret and
David – the blood of the people who wronged her the most. Alas, Cruella chooses
to cut hands, not throats.
Maleficent is back – and her first order of business is
to promise epic revenge pain on the Charmings (I approve!) David and Mary
Margaret realise they have to tell Emma because they’ve given up their
delusions of adequacy and realised they’re far too incompetent to solve things
themselves
Over to Regina and Henry and a nice little moment with Regina
dealing with bad memories and still mourning the loss of Robin. As they examine
the book, Regina find it has been altered and Henry explains that
August (Pinocchio) added his story to the book in an attempt, way back in
season 1, to get Emma to believe in fairy tales. Of course, August
has been turned into a small child now.
A child who doesn’t remember anything so Regina calls in
Emma since she and August were close. He still doesn’t remember anything and
Regina gets a little villainy. Gepetto takes exception. Recognising she was out
of line, Regina goes to Gepetto afterwards and apologises, recognising she’d
never let someone speak to Henry that way and being redeemed means staying on
the path of redemption. Gepetto gives her all of August’s possessions he kept.
Over to Killian and Emma who have a moment – Emma understands
that Killian doesn’t want to share all the secrets of his past nor does he have
to – but she doesn’t accept him lying. But she’s sure that it can’t be that bad
because she recognises her own habit of expecting the worst of people –why she
even thought the ultra-pure Mary Margaret and David were lying to her?!
Really, Emma? Really? Even Jiminy Cricket would have been
able to smell those lies! Amusingly this is overheard by her parents who are
now assaulted by many many guilt weasels. They do tell Emma about the
resurrected dragon-witch but chicken out of telling the big dark secret.
Instead Mary Margaret goes to see Regina to tell them
about Maleficent and wants Regina to go undercover as a villain to learn what
they’re planning. And to make Regina agree she reveals her big secret (which
must be kept from Emma for her own good, of course). As Mary Margaret makes her
big dramatic speech about the damage of breaking trust, we see the ominous
object of Maleficent’s that the villains stole was a baby’s rattle. Mary
Margaret reveals that Maleficent lost her child because of them
I actually wish to make the case that Regina should have
murdered the Charmings and conquered their kingdom and not just because they’re
both so very soggy. Have we ever seen them display any competence as rulers?
The one time Mary Margaret was called upon to show a shred of capability as
mayor she fell to pieces (and quickly handled the title back). Their rulership
has continually shown ineptitude – from ridiculous mercy towards their enemies
to nonsense like this where the monarchs go on holiday when there’s a deadly
enemy stalking the kingdom. Other than royal familyness, when have either
Charming displayed any qualities that suggest they SHOULD rule?
I am faintly amused to see Mary Margaret’s endless
plaintive love and hope and goodness mutterings disappear when her dirty
laundry may be aired.
Emma and Killian – I’m not running with this. She talks a
good game, but at the same time she was pretty much pushing Killian to reveal
his past whether he wanted to or not. So her downplayed it with a transparent,
dismissive, sort-of-lie (and even then it was more an evasion) – in the world
of people with actual social graces this is a polite way of indicating you don’t
want to discuss something. And Emma needs to turn her lie detector on again
Regina, of course, steals the show. Her continued
messages of redemption and the difficulty of not slipping into old habits –
awesome as always.
I am glad that Killian and Ursula have some kind of history - between Cruella's one-liners and Maleficent's dominant story, Ursula was fading to the background (we still haven't seen any power from her beyond having tentacles)
