Dr. Maxfield has
Jessie chained to a table, having killed him with vampire blood in his system.
He now has to drink human blood to complete the transition. Why? Apparently for
some kind of experimentation on the baby vamp – perhaps more disturbing is that
he calls Jessie “Subject 62547” which is both dehumanising him down to a
number, but also suggests that he’s burned through 62,546 other subjects. I’m
sure someone would have noticed 62,000 people going missing. He runs through
various observations before saying that Jessie is a “perfect candidate.”
At college, Elena is using her diary to treat us to a big
info-dumpy recap. Bonnie’s ghost is hanging around Elena because even when dead
she has to orbit around her –talk about a hellish afterlife. And Damon shows up
to point out Elena is avoiding him and to accept her invitation to the Costume
Ball. The Whitmore Historical Ball
Are you serious? ANOTHER big social event? Yes this one
at least cleaves to an actual tradition – but we’re 5 episodes in and they’ve
already had 3 of them! How does anyone in Mystical Falls actually get anything
DONE?
Caroline and Tyler don’t seem to be as sunny as Caroline and Elena think – since he doesn’t want to talk about anything to do with College and doesn’t even seem all that thrilled about the Costume Ball (and he’s a native of Mystic Falls, he should be used to parties every second Sunday).
Elena spots a guy clearly upset over Megan’s
little memorial and hurries over to intrude on his grief. He grew up with her,
doesn’t think Megan committed suicide and doesn’t really want to talk to Elena.
Meanwhile in actual stuff happening, Silas wants
Katherine, Nadia doesn’t want to give up Katherine, Silas isn’t happy at losing
his super-mind-powers but still intends to follow them and Katherine gets the
not-very-shocking-news that the immortality cure in her blood will take every
last drop of blood she has.
On the road and getting Katherine something to eat, Nadia
decides to play Q&A with Katherine – giving Katherine chance to run down the
many awful things she’s done over the years. Nadia reveals she’s been following
Katherine for 500 years, she is a vampire and she even became a vampire so she
could follow and match Katherine. Sound super-stalkery? Well Katherine killed
her mother – when Klaus’s minions caught up with her in the 17th
century in Paris, Katherine threw Nadia’s mother to the wolves to escape.
Katherine responds to this revelation by stabbing Nadia in the chest with a
walking stick and running away.
Nadia staggers around a little, unable to remove the
stick and Katherine returns – she deliberately missed the heart because she
wants to know what’s going on – she knows Nadia’s story is bullshit. Nadia
calls it a test and is cryptic for a little while before revealing Katherine
DID kill her mother – but in England in the 15th century. She killed
her mother by hanging her… hanging herself. Yes, it’s Nadia Petrova and
Katherine is her mother. SHOCK!
Later Katherine asks Nadia where she was in 1498
(naturally she can’t remember since she was 8) – because by then Katherine had
ducked the people chasing her and returned to Bulgaria to look for Nadia in “every
village, every cottage” (in Bulgaria? All of Bulgaria? All of the Bulgarian
province of the Ottoman Empire?). Nadia is surprised Katherine came looking for
her
Damon has a new plan he conferences with Jeremy and
Bonnie’s ghost – Silas wants to die, nature requires a death for a life (hence
the reason Bonnie died to bring Jeremy back) so why not use Silas’s death to
bring Bonnie back? And we don’t need to tell Elena about this because, well,
she’s Elena. Jeremy is shocked and appalled Damon wants to work with Silas.
Bonnie raises the point that dying isn’t Silas’s only plan – Silas probably
wants to destroy the whole Other Side which Qetsiyah created. And to create something
that powerful and long lasting she must have linked it to something that has
lasted as long –like the moon or, say, dopplegangers (just for example but how
shocked will we be when the Other Side turns out to be linked to Elena and
Stefan? On a scale of zero to not-even-slightly?)
The only person who knows what the anchor is Qetsiyah who
is going to the Costume Ball because it’s the freaking Vampire Diaries and EVERYONE goes to these ridiculous, weekly grand
social events because this show loves crowd scenes and the wardrobe department
starts vomiting blood if they don’t get everyone to dress up at least every
other episode. And, after all, if you’re a 2,000 year old witch after revenge
on your ex, wouldn’t you go to a costume party dressed as Cleopatra!?
Bonnie thinks it’s possible for Silas and her to swap
lives, but she’s not eager to work with the guy who killed her father and she
doesn’t trust him because, y’know, diabolical evil and all that. Oh bonnie, get
with the programme, I do not think there has been a single big bad on the Vampire Diaries that “our heroes” haven’t
climbed into bed with at one time or other. Jeremy, in the habit of completely
and utterly ignoring everything Bonnie says in favour of making up her mind for
her, tells Damon she’s backing the plan. Great, now we just need to know what
Silas wants to go ahead with the deal – Stefan’s death. DEAL!
Jeremy doesn’t get the difference between lying FOR
Bonnie when covering her death and lying in the name of Bonnie when deciding
what Bonnie supports or doesn’t support. But in another of those this-is-funny-it’s-so-lampshaded,
Bonnie protests she brought Jeremy back because Elena needed him and he
responds that Elena now needs Bonnie.
The discussion on whether to resurrect Bonnie –and Jeremy for that matter - from the dead or not has to consider what Elena needs. Seriously.
They thankfully find a more personal reason – Jeremy being
able to see and hear Bonnie but not feel her is painful and hard and he wants
to bring her back.
To the Costume Party (wow those costumes are pretty poor –
Wardrobe, keep this up and you won’t get your fornightly dress up games) with Caroline
dancing with Stefan and then Tyler (and lots more awkward
tyler-is-definitely-not-hanging-around hints. Yay more angst, just what the
show needs) and Elena avoiding Damon; she’s guilty about having fun while Stefan
was drowning over and over and Bonnie was dead while she was having fun – so now
she must concentrate on Megan’s death and have no fun at all ever. Because…
reasons. It’s Elena, she doesn’t have to make sense, it would break a 4 season
habit.
To implement this, Elena decides to go harass the
grieving guy who doesn’t want to talk to her – because stalking is an excellent
grief councillor. He tries to duck her and she glamours him – he’s acting “shady”
because he thinks everyone around him dies – apparently all his friends and
family are dead and he is wallowing in survivor’s guilt. She gets his name –
Aaron.
Qetsiyah/Tessa arrives at the party and tries to get
Stefan an “I’m sorry” drink but Damon hustles Stefan away on the rather
sensible understanding that Tessa is a dangerous person to date. And because he
wanted to lure Stefan into a back room, with Silas, and break his neck. Therefore
killing him (albeit temporarily) which severed the link which meant Silas got
his super powers back.
What, all it took was a neck crack? And whoa this is a
bad bad idea – Damon check the fine print first! At least it’s temporary –
because Damon has to keep Stefan dead. Now Silas is going to pretend to be
Stefan and root around in Tessa’s head – relying on the fact that Tessa honed
in on Stefan in the party – whether she hates Silas or not, she’s still
attracted to him. He makes an unnecessary note about women never forgetting their
first love – I think Tessa’s attachment is rather more than that.
He drinks with Tessa and we learn that one of the best
things of the modern world is bacon, to which I heartily agree. They dance but
Silas quickly drops the pretence because he’s pretty bad at keeping his story
straight anyway and asks about the Anchor – apparently Tessa doesn’t know where
it is either. The Travellers hid it after they killed her and she now needs an
amulet to activate a locator spell to find it he then wipes her memory in time
for him to collapse in pain again because Stefan’s woken up. Stefan and Damon
snipe a little bit before killing Stefan again – and Damon’s motivations? Bringing
Elena her best friend back!
Elena continues her investigation by confronting Dr.
Maxwell about the faked death certificate and he reveals he knows about
vampires, that people are watching her and asking questions about her and her
friends and she needs to pack her bags and run for the hills.
And Tyler and Caroline have a talk – Tyler is leaving. He
doesn’t want to have a relationship with Caroline because Klaus gave them
permission – especially since Klaus killed his mother. He’s here to say goodbye
before going after Klaus to destroy his life (really? Why is it no-one in this
world can recognise that Klaus is an Original and Not To be Messed With? Stop
poking the angry god-man already!
And does this mean we have to have Tyler whining around trying to kill Haley in
The Originals?) Caroline is not
impressed.
Tessa finds her amulet and casts her finding spell –
Silas appears to watch but just as he’s beginning to read her mind, Stefan
wakes up and he is in agonising pain again (hey, Damon, keep this up – it’s
fun). Alas my fun is interrupted because Stefan feigns death before leaping up
and snapping Damon’s neck. These vampires need to invest in neck braces or
something, so much neck snapping all the time. Stefan then goes through to the
next room and reveal to Tessa that fake!Stefan is Silas.
Tessa, remember, has a few issues with Silas and without
his mental powers he’s fairly helpless in front of her. She decides to stop his
heart – so his blood doesn’t flow, his body will dry up and rot from the inside
out, all while still being alive. I have to admire her imagination.
Next twist – it seems Dr. Maxwell is Aaron’s legal
guardian and manages his trust – he warns Aaron away from Elena (take his
advice Aaron, she’s bad news).
Elena and Damon find Silas all dried up and laid out
which Elena thinks is good – but she doesn’t know the full plan. Or that Tessa
may be kinda pissed at him now.
Later, away from the party, Caroline and Tyler talk and
she asks him to stay, to “love her more than you hate him”. Caroline gives him
an ultimatum – he leaves, they’re done. And he leaves.
Elena tell Damon about Maxwell’s warning “the wrong
people will start asking the right questions”. There’s a quick recap of various
issues when there’s a knock at the door: Damon invited Katherine and she’s very
very happy to see Silas all desiccated and nasty. She celebrates until she sees
the not-pleasant (but yummy – he hasn’t looked like that since season 1) look
on Damon’s face. Damon bites her – but she desperately tells him that Silas
needs all of her blood and how she doesn’t want to die – Damon presses her
bloody neck to Silas’s teeth, slowly healing Silas while Elena looks on all
shocked and horrified. Silas eventually drops her and Katherine collapses to
the floor – still alive and conscious.
I’m actually totally backing Damon’s plan. More Bonnie,
Silas dead, Katherine dead, you can probably restore Stefan’s memory without
restoring Silas’s super powers, it’ll foil Nadia’s plan and I don’t know what
that is but I’m guessing Not Good – where’s the downside here? Except possibly
an angry Qetsiyah. (Don’t even try to pretend anyone on this show gives a damn
about the sanctity of life and the horror of killing Katherine, I will laugh in
your face). Even the whole Otherside must be an unnatural badness that seems to
sentence all supernatural dead to some kind of unpleasant limbo which should
probably end.
Awww, do I have to pretend to care that Stefan will also die?
Do I even have to rant more about the parties, balls,
festivals, dances and everything else that are so constant on the Vampire
Diaries? And how everyone, absolutely everyone goes to them?
So the Travellers are not just witches – since Nadia was
a Traveller and a vampire. Does that make Traveller a political or social
organisation more than a specific set or subset of supernatural?
Elena labels this poor Aaron as “shady”. This would be
the Elena entitlement complex: why is he shady? He’s shady because he doesn’t
want to answer questions from a complete stranger about a good friend who has
just died – and said complete stranger is following him. That isn’t “shady” –
that is a display of Elena’s lack of boundaries and respect for other people.
Speaking of disrespect – Jeremy needs to stop making decisions for Bonnie. And can we make Bonnie’s resurrection a little more about Bonnie and a little less about Elena? This is almost comic in its awfulness.
Tyler back just for more angst? Was it just to say
goodbye so Caroline’s love interest slot was clear for Jessie and/or Stefan?
And moment of complete “I don’t buy it”? Why would the Travellers, who killed
Qetsiyah in Ancient Greece (or similar Mediterranean culture) move her
super-special amulet to somewhere-near-Mystic Falls?
