Gold, after his encounter this week, takes some
precautions. He cuts his shadow off using the Dark One blade then instructs his
shadow to take it and hide it where no-one can find it, even him. The Dark One
knife is one of the few (perhaps only) way to actually kill the Dark One.
The rescue gang hike through the forest, guided by Hook
who has, of course, been there before (though Regina points out she could
easily have teleported them all. I think this is going to be a theme – constant
rather convoluted reasons why Regina can’t use her magic to just solve any
problem they come across). And Mary Margaret suggests Emma call her “mom” which
is Awkward.
They reach a patch of thorns that Hook quickly stops
David from hacking through- because it oozes a really nasty poison that Hook
had used to almost kill Gold – proving its potency. He suggests they go round –
David ignores him because… because… I have no damn clue. Seriously, is this
just a “you’re not the boss of me” putting Hook in his place? Because less than
a minute ago you refused Regina’s teleportation because of Hook’s superior
knowledge, now you’re throwing that away because David wants to prove who is
Alpha Male in these parts?
Emma and Hook continue to try and establish their
chemistry with Emma telling him about all the stories he’s in (in which he is
wrongly cast as the villain) and learns of twirling moustaches and perms. And
they reach the top of the ridge and find that the jungle has rather overgrown
since the last time Hook was there. Further, Hook adds they need to go round
the Dark Jungle, which will take a while and they need to rest to prepare for
it.
Both Regina and Emma are worried about waiting and
sleeping while Henry is out there, but Mary Margaret reassures Emma with her
own history – how they were never too late. Flashback, to Snow White in her glass
coffin and Prince Charming kissing her (really Regina, you had to go with a
curse. There’s perfectly good arsenic out there and no amount of molesting the
corpse is going to bring her back then, but noooo, you had to go for a curse).
The magic mirror shows Regina Snow White waking and their betrothal – and her
plan to take the kingdom back.
Cut to Snow White rallying the crowd against the Evil
Queen (“the land belongs to us!” you setting up a constitutional monarchy
there, Snow? No? Ah, that would be “you” then)
who are happy to chant but not fight – and they scatter when Regina shows
up. She restrains Charming and expresses her contempt (totally agree with
Regina here) and offers Snow a deal – Snow, the dwarfs and the Prince can all
go free if they acknowledge Regina’s rule. Alternatively, Regina will kill a
peasant. Snow charges her with a sword – yeah that doesn’t work – and Regina
gives her until sundown the next day to give up the throne; after which she
will kill one of Snow’s Followers every day
I still say some arsenic or a quick stab with a dagger
would work wonders.
Back to the present and Neverland and Emma is awoken by
the sound of children. She wanders into the woods on her own to check it out (Whispering
“hey guys” and then leaving the others asleep isn’t calling for help. And did
you really leave no look out?) and runs into Peter Pan. After holding him at
sword point and some banter back and forth, Peter says he’s going to help her
find Henry – and give her a map. Uh-huh because that’s trustworthy. Apparently
it’s because it’s about “how” she finds Henry. And, of course, Emma is the only
one who can find him. The map’s also blank – oh that’s useful – she can only
read it when she “stops denying who she really is.”
Yeah she should have stabbed him
The group gathers for some more bickering and Regina
suggests rather than spending their time staring at a blank piece of paper, or David
running through the jungle looking for a flying boy, they could use magic on
the map and reveal its secrets. Everyone vetoes that, it’s better to play by
the rules set by a kidnapping eternal 12 year old. Apparently.
Flashback back to Snow White and Prince Charming, with
Snow considering running from the kingdom and Charming convinced they can win
and protect the people by staying. Snow wants to escape with the people she
cares for rather than lose anyone – and she doubts she can help the people
anyway (me too). Grumpy also asks a very important question – why does
Charming, who is supposed to be in this fight for True Love, care about being
king and having a castle?
This season needs more Grumpy.
With the dwarfs deciding not to back Charming because he
says so (oh those were the days when people expected David to make sense rather
than just following his every whim), Charming goes to make a deal with
Rumplestiltskin (see, stuff like this is why people don’t trust your judgement,
I’m just saying).
Speaking of, back to Gold in Neverland and a cloaked
figure steals the doll Peter gave Gold. He chases them and it’s revealed to
be Belle (Belle, that was daft – you stole from the Dark One and hoped he’d
resolve the issue without squishing you into a fine paste). She has concerns
about him going all Dark One. Gold suddenly realises this could be a trick
especially since Belle isn’t really there, she’s just an image – Belle says,
yes she is – but it’s Gold that conjured her.
Rather than chasing down that thread we zoom back to the
flashback and Charming asking Rumplestiltskin for a spell to change Snow’s mind
and get him that castle he wants. Wow, he wants mind control magic to make Snow
agree with him? You’ve got yourself a catch, right there Snow. See, this is why
falling for guys just because they have a strange thing for corpses in crystal
coffins is a bad idea. He edits that to “I want her to believe what I believe!”
(that would still be mind control) but that doesn’t work because magic can’t
force belief. Charming refuses to take no for an answer – and insists
Rumplestiltskin must have something
Charming rides back to Snow to tell her what
Rumplestiltskin said – apparently there’s a magical weapon Snow can use nearby
that will help her; by showing Regina who she “really is”.
Which is when we return to the present and Neverland with
Emma trying to read the mask of finding oneself. Emma decides to recite her
biography ending with her monumentally saying that she’s the Saviour. While
everyone gasps in surprise and draws closer, that doesn’t make the map reveal
itself. With this epic failure, Regina loses her patience and casts a locator
spell on the parchment – leading them to Pan, which means going into the Dark jungle.
Gold continues to wrestle over why he summoned Belle, the
image of Belle and what he’s wrestling with. Talking with her he drags it up –
Pan offered him a chance to live and abandon Henry and he’s afraid he will
repeat the cowardice of his former life and be selfish. The doll is the last
thing his father gave Gold – before he left. She tells him he needs to let go
of the past to not repeat its mistakes, and Gold throws the doll over the
cliff.
Flashback time! Charming leads Snow to the weapon while
they reflect it’s the first time they’ve been alone since getting engaged since
Snow has 7 “big brothers” who don’t like Charming that much. The magical item
turns out to be Excalibur; embedded in stone and, of course, only the kingdom’s
true ruler can remove it. Snow pulls the sword free.
Newly armed with Excalibur she confronts Regina who promptly starts killing a dwarf, restraining the others. Snow uselessly attacks, again, only this time her wildly flailing back swing accidentally catches Regina, opening a shallow cut. The dwarf is dropped, Snow declares that it’s her kingdom and Regina decides to meet Snow and her non-existent army on the battlefield rather than, y’know, teleporting back 10 feet and burning them all to death with fireballs.
Back to Neverland present where the group finds Peter who calls bad form on their cheating at his little game. Swarms of Lost Boys move in with weapons – ooh goody, let’s see Regina roast them! There’s a brief fight scene where lots of lost Boys get pushed to the ground but very few get stabbed or impaled. Even Regina seemed to restrain herself to shocking people before the Lost Boys retreat and Pan repeats his message to Emma – stop denying who you are. Y’know, catching a Lost Boy or two for Regina to question would be so much easier.
Emma is beating herself up over the failure and Mary
Margaret talks to her, asking her why she spared one of the Lost Boys. Emma
remembers being in the foster system, the despair of it – of being a “Lost
little girl” who no-one cared about. On Neverland she feels like an Orphan,
which she has always been.
With that revelation, the map reveals itself. Of course,
it’s a little bitter for Mary Margaret but she accepts that it’s true and she
needs to change it.
Back to the past with Snow confronting Rumplestiltskin
about the deal he made with Charming, not wanting Charming to be in his debt.
He shrugs it off, he told Charming he couldn’t do anything and that was true.
She points out he knew where Excalibur was and he says - yes, Camelot – and then turns the sword she’s
carrying into dust. No, it is not Excalibur. He takes as payment her necklace
that belonged to her mother – everything comes with a cost, including wasting
his time.
The dwarfs make nice with Charming a Snow confronts him –
he made up the whole ruse so she would have the confidence to confront Regina and
be a ruler – which he knew all along. Awww, they kiss. Wow, really? Emotional
manipulation is the key to romance.
Back in Neverland, everyone is happy with the map and Emma and Hook have some more flirting
And Gold, walking through the forest, has the doll
dropped on him again. This time he sets it on fire. Only to have it appear
again, in front of him. This one he keeps.
Peter drops in on Emma, pointing out she hasn’t forgiven
her parents for abandoning her – which is great, because Henry doesn’t forgive her
either. By the time Emma finds Henry, he’ll want to stay. He then threatens
that she will become an orphan – oooh, promises promises!
We see David examining the cut he got in the fight
against the Lost Boys. It’s poisoned. Of course, the sensible thing to do would
be to tell the others about it…
So am I supposed to think how romantic it was that David
believed in Mary Margaret even when she didn’t believe in herself? Because what
I saw was her make a decisions, a decision that was meant to save lives and the
lives of all she loved, and David then go and seek to MAGICALLY FORCE HER to
change her mind. When he couldn’t magically make her believe what he wanted her
to believe, he instead turned to trickery and manipulation.
Regina’s magic is perhaps their strongest asset, but
there seems to be a habit throughout this episode of not only stopping her using
it, but by making her magic an active hindrance or something to avoid.
Ultimately, I think it’s because in this situation Regina is a thousand times
more useful than the rest of them, so they keep her in the background with no
useful power to stop the obvious – her completely overwhelming Emma. I think
they did something similar by splitting them from Gold – but at least then Gold
was allowed his own storyline.
