It’s back! Almighty Johnsons is back! After we thought it
was cancelled, it returned to us, precious! It returned!
Now, fix Gaia. Now now, now, now.
And Anders no longer has the horrible beardy thing!
Things are looking up! He returns to a perfect fairtytale home where his pregnant
wife, Gaia, awaits him – so happy and joyful and sweet. Apparently 5 years have
passed – and Axl is very very pissed about Gaia and Anders – and is embedded in
a tree.
Thankfully it’s not real, it’s Axl’s twisted imagination.
Less thankfully, he snaps out of this because Gaia screams his name while he’s
driving a car at speed on the wrong side of the road with another car coming in
the opposite direction. After some very exciting spinning out of control, they
come to a stop – alive and in one piece. But Axl just can’t live in a world
with Gaia and Anders together. Gaia, always the sensible one, points out Anders
is nowhere to be seen, she’s in Axl’s car, going to the house where they live
together and she intends to spend the night in Axl’s bed. Gaia, awesome as
always. Axl and Gaia kiss passionately. They continue to kiss all the way back
home. They don’t stop kissing as he struggles to open the door, they don’t stop
kissing as the go into his room at which point I think they do stop kissing by
the moans, cries and panting that follows. It kind of ruins Zeb’s Frigg
re-birth party.
Anders is at his own flat (with an odd hallucination of
Gaia in his bathroom mirror) and does a really good job of being silently torn
up about Helen’s (Idun) murder – her
blood still staining his kitchen floor.
Ingrid (Snotra) gets thoroughly drunk and has to explain
the whole hot mess to Ty. Mike (Ullr) complains bitterly about digging Helen’s
makeshift grave, complaining that Anders should do it and being really dismissive
of Ander’s grief. Olaf (Baldr) sort of helps but I think even he’s not
impressed by Mike’s whining. Michele (Sjofn) and Stacy (Fulla) clear out Natalie’s
(the murdering religious fanatic) room and Michele weighs up whether Gaia, as
Idun, will be easier to deal with.
Returning to Anders, Mike chews him out for not cleaning
up the blood in his kitchen (and Anders tries to invoke Mike’s Ullr abilities
by suggesting burying a body is a “hiding game”. Nice try). Mike and Olaf also
warn Anders off Gaia. Agreed there, but I still think people might find more
sympathy for Anders. Even if he doesn’t actually encourage it.
Exhausted, Mike goes home to Michele and adds dodgy
plumbing to his list of things to do. He wants to know why Colin (Loki) called
Michele the most powerful goddess (she can make anyone infatuated with anyone
else – sounds pretty powerful to me) but Michele pleads ignorance (possibly
honestly). She wants to know if Mike still plans to kill Colin but given Colin’s
ability to make nasty murdering god hunters explode, Mike’s backing up on that
one.
Anders goes to work (in Jon Hamm trousers that, of course,
I didn’t notice) and tells a very very scathing Dawn that Helen and Natalie are
out of the picture – including the business they were supposed to be bringing
(and also denying he ever had a beard – yes, let us pretend it never happened).
Anders uses his Bragi powers to mojo Dawn – and, because it’s Almighty
Johnsons, throw in a suggestion that Natalie and Helen have run off to have a
lesbian affair. And has another Gaia hallucination.
Ty drops in to see Anders and asks Dawn out (who
doesn’t remember him) – and I find myself agreeing with Anders again, too
soon Ty! You’re being creepy. Just to remind us that Ty is the sweet one,
Anders asks him lots of personal information about Helen to see if anyone’s
going to come looking for her (no). Ty found all this out on one date while
Anders, despite being with her for weeks, didn’t know any of it – they just had
sex constantly. Anders continually ducks any questions about his feelings.
Back at Gaia and Axl’s, an apple tree has sprouted out of
the sofa. Which rather freaks Zeb out since the landlord is coming to visit
tomorrow. The perils of the new Idun. Time to call in Olaf and Ingrid to see
what the holy apple tree means (they eat the apples, because they’re awesomely
delicious. Apples all round (except Gaia who thinks it’s vaguely creepy) and I’m
with Axl, it’s probably a bad idea of Zeb to eat them. Unfortunately, Anders
isn’t the only one with hallucinations and Gaia sees Anders – she reacts with
sexually suggestive finger sucking with Axl.
To Anders who quickly rescues Ty from another awful
attempt to rush things with Dawn, following it up with awful advice and how
Dawn thinks Ty’s gay because, yes,
Almighty Johnsons, again. He confides in Ty about Gaia hallucinations and
how much he doesn’t want Gaia – but Ty is no longer very sympathetic so time to
talk to family oracle, Olaf; currently eating his bodyweight in apples.
To Mike’s bar to meet Olaf – unfortunately Axl, Zeb and
Gaia also go to the bar for free drinks. After brief awkwardness, Anders aims
for ultra awkwardness by telling Axl that he in no way wants to sleep with
Gaia, no matter what the universe says. Nice thought but Gaia calls him out for
talking about her as an object rather than a person who is right there. She
adds that she has no interest in him, Axl threatens to punch Anders and Mike
tells Anders to leave. Well, he tried.
Mike and Axl talk but Axl assures Mike all is well – and Gaia
is nothing like Helen (who is dismissed as “skanky”) and Axl decides they’re
both people and gods – and he and Gaia are sticking to the people side of
things. And that night Axl gives Gaia a ring and asks her to marry him; she
says yes.
Ty continues to stalk Dawn. And Michele is not happy at
Mike’s… apartment. Ish. It’s well below her standards and she hates it – but Mike
can’t afford to renovate. Michele points out he’s UIlr, god of games and has an
infinite supply of cash if he uses it
Zeb panics about the landlord when Axl and Gaia give him
the news – he questions whether Odin and Idun can be engaged but they jump on
that – it’s Axl and Gaia, now make with the group hug celebrations! Ms. Kwon,
the landlord’s daughter arrives to inspect the apartment – despite Gaia and Axl
being half dressed and she marvels at the tininess of Gaia’s engagement ring
diamond. They explain away the apple tree as an artwork that will be moved,
elsewhere, honest – Ms. Kwon doesn’t care over much; but she does tell them the
rent’s going up. That’s for Zeb to panic about while Axl and Gaia are still
giddy.
Axl rings his brother to tell them – Anders trying to be
happy but clearly not, Mike knowing automatically because Axl says “guess what?”
therefore turning it into a game (that is such an easily abused power). Stacey’s
fairly indifferent but both Olaf and Ingrid see it as bad news (being oracles).
Ty’s the only one who is happy for them. Speaking of Ty, Anders gives good
advice (about dating! AGAIN, yes good advice!) to Ty about how his stalking
Dawn is creepy and disgusting and totally not sexy or romantic.
Michele continues to seduce Mike to the dark side;
winning a free shopping spree in the DIY store. Which she then sabotages because
she told him she loved him and he didn’t say it back. Which turns into a game of hide and seek
among the shelves – which Mike is, of course, freakishly good at. He was hiding in the gardening section getting
her flowers to prove he loves her (hah I quite like them as a couple) including
roses “I saw prickly and thought of you.” And out of pity, Anders uses his mind
control to send Dawn to Ty praising his creepy cupcakes and insisting he show
her how he makes them. Ty guesses Anders is responsible and Dawn gets some
flashbacks to when she nearly froze in Ty’s ice room; this freak her out and
she leaves quickly.
To the bar for the celebratory engagement drinks. And
oracles Ingrid and Olaf take Axl and Gaia aside to basically tell them their
relationship is doomed and they know something’s not right – hence Axl growing
the tree to try and create a symbol of them together, to hang onto what they
don’t have and convince themselves it’s still real. Yes, Odin made the tree,
not Idun; Idun’s apples are always green.
Axl goes home to the empty flat. Gaia goes to Anders –
and they have sex while Axl cuts downt he apple tree.
Damn there’s some symbolism for you
The show has always been set up to present Ty as the good
one – the sweet, considerate guy who, alas, never gets the girl while Anders is
the bad one – the rogue, the bad boy, who nevertheless always gets the woman;
this is clearly shown in the way Ty knows everything about Helen while Anders
knew so little - but had constant sex with her.
But this whole thing just reeks of the “nice guy”. We’re
supposed to feel sorry
And this is why I liked that it was ANDERS calling out Ty
on his stalking behaviour (even if it was undermined by the mind control).
Because Ty being the “nice guy” doesn’t entitle him to a relationship or sex,
nor is getting to know a woman as a person “losing” compared to just having sex
with no actual attachment or caring for her. And just because Ty is the nice
guy doesn’t
I wonder if Almighty Johnsons, not known for its nuance,
appreciates the subtleties of having Anders be the one to challenge Ty’s
stalking – even while enabling it.
While Anders and Gaia ended up together, I’m glad that, after
the initial rush of Idun, Gaia and Anders did fight it. We didn’t have a
continuation of that awful kneeling to Anders from the last episode. No, we
have 2 people trying to fight against a destiny woo-woo is forcing on them,
still having their own personalities but not able to fight this. And it’s
mutual – it isn’t Anders preying on Gaia, neither of them want this. And the
whole thing with the tree – cutting it down, the wrong fruit, it being Axl’s
was such a powerful and tragic scene
On the whole Almighty Johnsons is back – and that means
there’s a lot of problematic elements, while at the same time the story, the
concept and the characetrs are
And damn Anders can wear a suit
