We start way back into the past of Fairy land - to when
Snow is a child and a princess and covered in sparkly things. It’s her birthday
which calls for a ball in her honour with even more sparkly things – and this
is before Snow’s mother died. And Snow’s mother is good and kind and chides
young Snow for berating a servant. Johanna, for trying on her tiara – because everyone
deserves love and respect and everyone is equal (says the Queen of an absolute
monarchy). Being royal doesn’t make you better than anyone else and how she
must always be good and kind and not mince peasants up into soup for funsies.
Clearly the gods disapprove of this message because she staggers in pain
afterwards and needs to be helped to stop her collapsing.
Modern day Snow White finds
David/James/Charming/Needs-to-pick-a-name suspiciously making breakfast. She
grills him over this and is most unhappy by these suspicious pancakes. The
confusion becomes less murky when a present from a mysterious unknown arrives –
it’s Snow’s birthday and she’s trying to keep it underwraps. Inside the present
is a tiara – the same one she got for her birthday as a child (the one with the
grubby peasant fingermarks all over it). Speaking of grubbyer servant
fingermarks, there’s a card inside saying the tiara is from Johanna. Oh
Johanna, I’m sure Rumple/Gold would have let you hock that for a nice chunk of
change. Snow just realises that Johanna came over to Storybrooke and Charming
points out they’re still all finding each other (how big is Storybrooke
anyway?)
After some more worry about how her birthday makes Snow sad, they go to work. Wait, Charming works? Yes, he’s the Sheriff while Emma is away because there are no employment standards for the police force of Storybrooke at all! When he arrives (complete with gun – he knows how to use a gun? Really? Since when? He’s been a medieval prince or a coma patient for most of his life) Hook leaps out and hits him over the head. Ahhh, it’s a Joffrey slap moment, let me rewind that and watch it again. I think it’s going to be a while before that gets old.
With Charming unconscious, he reclaims his Hook.
Snow goes to see Johanna, busy in her garden (and she
calls Snow “Snow” as well). They hug and it’s a big happy reunion – and it
turns out she found the tiara in Rumple’s shop (ah so that’s why she didn’t
pawn it). They get all weepy as they discuss the garden Johanna has planted to
honour the old queen when a noise cuts through the hugging and crying. Snow
enters the woods and spots Cora and Regina, together, consulting the map to
find where Rumple’s dagger is buried. They worry over the authenticity of Hook’s
translated map which leads to Cora both offering to use magic to make a better
map – and to conveniently info dump their nefarious scheme, overheard by Snow.
She rushes to see Charming to wake him up from sleepy land and tell him about Regina. This calls for a cunning plan. Alas, Charming and Snow are about as far from cunning as it’s possible to be – Snow decides that she needs to seed doubt between Regina and Cora.
To New York where Henry is bonding with Bael/Neal and
Rumple and Emma are feeling left out. Rumple wants Emma to convince Bael/Neal
to come to Storybrooke and he has a great hook for it. If Bael isn’t in
Storybrooke, how long before Henry gets on a bus to find him the way he did
with Emma? Emma tries to insist she lied to him to protect him but Rumple
points out that that’s probably what Regina said to Henry about Emma. He also
suspects that Emma would love another chance with Neal/Bael.
Snow goes to see Regina to confront her over her lies in
the worst possible way. She starts with threats about a “war coming” and
follows up with how lucky Regina is to have earned goodwill with Snow. Regina
refuses Snow’s definitions and says she was always the Queen, it was Snow who
added evil to her name (oooh nice). Regina points out how little playing nice
and trying to earn forgiveness has got her and that while Cora hungers for
power, power is how you get things done. Snow protests that Cora doesn’t care
about Regina or Henry but Regina’s come back is “what do you know about
mothers?”
Back to fairyland and Snow’s mother is laid in bed,
gravely ill, while Snow and Johanna look on. The doctor tells Johanna to call
the king to cancel everything and hurry to his wife’s side (that’s not a good
sign). Snow goes with Johanna, weeping and Johanna proposes using magic to cure
the queen since medicine has failed (this is apparently nefarious and naughty).
Johanna tells Snow there’s a fairy who can grant a wish if your heart is true
(what does that even mean, anyway? Sincere? I mean I could sincerely hate
someone, does that make my wish ok?)
Back to New York where Henry wants to know whether to
call Rumple grandpa (he does adapt
quickly, doesn’t he?) and Emma and Neal/Bael have an awkward conversation with
Emma trying to convince him to come to Storybrooke. He dodges the question and
they get separated going into the subway – which is when Hook attacks Emma and
Rumple (seriously? Rumple beat Hook with a stick on his own, earlier.) knocking
Emma aside and stabbing Rumple with his hook. Emma rises behind him and knocks
Hook out with a big heavy object just as Neal and Henry come running. Of
course, seeing Rumple bleeding softens Neal.
They drag him to Neal’s flat and Emma reassures Henry –
but Rumple blames Henry, saying he caused it, he brought them here (this is because
of the prophecy and Rumple being out of his mind. But I guess we know how
Rumple’s going to react to his new grandson).
It seems Hook puts his own special poison on his Hook, one
that has no cure on Earth – they need to get back to Storybrooke and magic as
soon as possible. Which means taking Hook’s cloaked pirate ship which is
apparently super-duper fast – which means they need Neal to play captain since
Emma doesn’t know how. Which means he will go to Storybrooke with them to save
daddy. Awww.
In Storybrooke, Snow and Charming rush to the Mother
Superior/Blue Fairy who senses a great disturbance in the force. They need her
to use her magic to find Rumple’s dagger before Cora can use the dark side of
the force to do the same.
To Fairyland! Where Snow travels into the woods in the
middle of the night to find the Blue Fairy (in my version of events she finds a
large, angry bear instead. My version’s better). The Blue Fairy says that
cheating death is dark magic and fairy magic is, alas, very very shiny happy
hippie magic. Wait, healing is black magic now? She’s still alive, it’s not
like it’s Necromancy! She has only one possible way of curing the queen – with forbidden
magic that can only be used when it’s really really important – apparently this
counts. She gives Snow a wicked looking scented candle and warns her it will come with a price –
someone must die in order for the queen to live. Snow gets to choose who. Snow protests she can’t – because her mother
always wanted her to be good.
To the present, to New York and the bleeding Rumple. We
have a hint of how Neal knows how to pilot a ship – Earth wasn’t his first stop
when he fell through the portal, if it were he’d be 200 years old by now. And
Henry rushes in with a message from Snow about Regina’s nefarious scheme. She
tells Rumple, clearly expecting him to tell her where the dagger is so Charming
and Snow can get to it first. Rumple says no (and I can’t say I blame him.
Those 2 with ultimate power?) Emma lays down the law – he’s dying and needs to
trust someone, so he better start with family.
In Storybrooke, the Blue Fairy’s wand just doesn’t work
on Rumple’s shop because his protection spell is too strong. Snow asks Blue to
use dark magic, because it’s so vital – as she once told her she could which
Blue tries to deny. But that’s when Emma calls Charming and tells them that
Rumple has told them where his nifty knife is so they won’t have to sacrifice
someone to the Blue Fairy’s dark magic (awww… I wanted to see the Mother
Superior ritually sacrifice Archie. C’mon, who doesn’ t want to see that? What
if you dropped Pinocchio’s wooden body into
woodchipper would that count?)
Back to fairytale land past where Snow (who, amazingly,
was even MORE annoying as a child than she is as an adult) runs weeping to her
mother, Queen Nameless the Impossibly Perfect to tell her she couldn’t bring
herself to sacrifice someone to save her – and how very sorry she is. Queen Nameless the Impossibly Perfect doesn’t
demand she sacrifice a scabby peasant as nearly every royal for several
thousand years would have done, and instead is so very very proud that her
daughter is strong enough not to murder people.
What can I say, she’s easily impressed. C’mon folks you’re so uncreative – aren’t
there any ogres, did the fairy say it had to be human? Anyway, Queen Nameless
the Impossibly Perfect assures Snow that she will never leave her so long as
she holds the spirit of goodness in her heart, prompting all of the various
attendants to spontaneously develop diabetes as a result of the sheer
sacchirineness of the whole thing. Having gasped out her last words, queenie
kicks the bucket (and who lays in their death beds with diamond earrings? Just
saying, queenie had a thing for the bling).
Back to Storybrooke present when the two brains of
Storybrooke find the dagger in a crafty hiding place (it’s not in a box with “no
knife in here” written on it. That would only fool them, it’s stuck on one of
the hands of the clock). And they’re joined by Regina and Cora. Charming
dramatically announces “you’re too late”. Why? What did you call bagsy or
something, oh magicaless man? Snow declares that good has won! (Errr, what’s to
stop Regina and Cora just killing the pair of them? Or pinning them down and
taking it?)
Cora waves a hand and makes Johanna appear and points out
it isn’t good or evil that wins – it’s power and Regina does the heart-rippy
thing. Now they have to make a choice, give the evil ones the magic knife of
ultimate power so they can go on a rampage and kill lots of people, or let one
person die
Let’s have another flashback before we face their obvious
answer. Snow’s bedecked in the black of mourning, with Johanna there to support
her (hey, kingy, did you take a “can’t be arsed with mourning” holiday?) to go
preside over her mother’s funeral (hello, kingy, are you there?) again with
Johanna’s support.
But when they leave the body, Cora appears – she was
disguised as the Blue fairy (guess she didn’t offer dark magic after all) and
comment on how she poisoned the queen (she has an odd form of Tourette’s that
requires her to mumble plot points across the 4th wall). Over the body she declares how she will turn
Snow White’s heart black as coal, so it won’t just be Queen Nameless the
Impossibly Perfect she’ll destroy, but also her legacy.
Except back in the present, Cora’s terrible exposition
trait means she reveals that she was the fake Blue Fairy to Snow. There’s a
dramatic moment where it’s all out on the floor, Cora killed Snow’s mother so
Regina could be queen, her being the Blue Fairy – followed by Snow choosing
between one of the last connections with her mother (and a person, Johanna, let’s
not forget) and letting Cora win again until Snow cracks and gives up the
dagger.
Regina put’s Johanna’s heart back – but Cora kills her
anyway, throwing her out of the clock tower. Regina and Cora leave in a puff of
smoke “see what good gets you.” Snow collapses in grief.
At the mayor mansion, Regina and Cora are back, no longer in hiding. Cora complements Regina on her awesome decor, but Regina is troubled by Cora’s history with Snow’s mother. Regina realises Cora also manipulated the whole rescue of Snow, Regina being in the pasture, Snow losing control of her horse and Regina being ready to rescue her. Cora doesn’t understand what the point is – but it’s revealed her manipulation and Regina sees a problem with her goals – the whole reason she wanted the dagger was to force Rumple to kill Emma, Charming and Snow without Henry knowing. They can’t do that now because everyone knows they have the dagger – so what is Cora’s REAL plan? Cora just urges patience.
New York time – and they’ve left Hook behind. Again. Emma
question’s Neal’s changing motivation but he says there’s a difference between
running from your father and letting him die in front of you. They reach the
car Neal is borrowing – from a “friend”. And that friend shows up and she hugs
him – she’s his fiancée.
At Johanna’s grave side, Snow is having a crisis of faith about holding on to goodness and then losing people. She’s tired of justice, she’s tired of thinking people will change and resolves that it’s time to kill Cora.
My gods, I actually agree with Snow about something!
Regina’s line: “what do you know about mothers” would be
so perfect if it weren’t for the show obviously linking it to Snow’s own dead
mother (therefore trying to cast it as an aspersion on Snow’s dead mother, oh
you evil woman). I actually re-edited my recap to mix the fairy land and
storybrooke together just to show how they’re linking that line because it’s
important.
Because there’s absolutely no reason that Regina’s little dig there should be related to Snow’s mother’s death. To do so puts Snow’s context – her grief over her mother’s past death and the anniversary of it – above the actual context of what is currently happening in Storybrooke.
Regina (and Cora, for that matter) are the only mother
figures in Once Upon a Time who have actually raised a child. Snow gave Emma up
as a baby to send her to the real world and Emma had Henry adopted. Regina
raised Henry to the age he is now, he is her mother by not just law but by long
association and by forming a family with him. And then in comes Emma, a
stranger to him, and she’s already “mom” in an incredible short space of time
And in season 2 with the curse breaking that just develops further. Regina and her son Henry now have Emma, the long lost mother with Snow and Charming there to play long lost grandparents; they’re inserting themselves not only into her family but pushing her out of it on the basis of zero family ties not only with Henry – but with each other as well.
And then these people have control of Henry? They’re the
ones who decide whether she’s allowed to see her son? They’re the ones who
judge her relationship with her own mother?
“What do you know of mothers?” is an apt question in the
circumstances – because what do they know of the mantle they’ve claimed and are
trying to deny Regina?
Also killing Johanna… why? Kick the puppy moment? Has the
treatment of Regina grown to become too sympathetic so we need a massive
reassertion of evil? And while I can understand Regina returning to Cora as the
only person who is remotely sympathetic to her, the level of trust is dubious.
I felt like the writers want to cast Regina as a villain mid-redemption and are
being heavy handed with it. in fact, I'm not happy with the way Regina redemption has been handled anyway - I'd be much happier if, from the very beginning, Snow just said "no, she's tried to kill me over and over - I owe her nothing, she's evil, I'm done with her" rather than this carrot being dangled but being so unreachable.
