This episode opens three months in the past and Alex is dressed to go on her date with Hal but she is at a fair with a little boy. He wants to know if Alex is going out tonight, who is going to wash up and make dinner. Alex says that it's her holiday as well and promises to return to the fair with him the next day because they have all of the time in the world.
In the present, at the hotel, Alex is chattering away and Tom and Hal are trying to organize their chores. In frustration, Hal says, "Alex please!" When she asks if they want her to shut up, Hal gets all smooth and says that she is "vibrant and entertaining company and is distracting them." Alex replies, "what am I supposed to do? I can't eat and I can't sleep." What none of them know is that the devil is pretending to read a newspaper in the lobby and is watching them. Tom asks Alex what she used to d do before and Alex replies that she looked after her brothers, went off the piss with her mates and played the piano. It turns out that Alex was going to be a concert pianist. Alex realises that Diagnosis Murder is on and disappears.
Patsy is arranging some flowers and the Captain (read: the devil) asks if she has an admirer but Patsy replies that she picked them up at the petrol station thinking that it might brighten the place up a bit. Patsy goes on to add that she keeps thinking about Sophie (the girl the captain talked into committing suicide) and the captain asks, "that poor girl, was it something I said?" Patsy tells him that Sophie adored him and that he cannot blame himself. The captain replies that he has a plan to lift the spirits and as he and Patsy leave the room, the flowers that she just laid out appear visibly dead.
Alex is sitting at an organ playing when the hand of a child touches her shoulder. When she turns around, no one is there.
Patsy talks to Hal and Tom and says that she will be watching them and that whoever impresses her the most, will be named employee of the month. She wishes them the best of luck but winks at Hal. Patsy then turns and leaves. Hal says that this is why the world is going to hell in a hand basket and cannot believe that people need competition for them to do their jobs properly. When he turns, Hal finds that Tom has straightened his clothing. Tom says, "game on, you will have your work cut out if you want to beat me buddy boy." At first, Hal says that he is not going to compete, but Tom counters saying that Hal doesn't want to try because he knows he will be beaten. Tom says that it would be the easiest thing in the world for him to win this ridiculous competition. The two start bickering, until Hal says that he accepts the challenge. The two head into the kitchen grab cleaning supplies and head out.
Alex decides to venture downstairs. As she looks around, she hears a voice calling her name. When she heads into the bathroom, she sees a sink and turns on the water and the noise gets deafening.
In the main room, Tom tosses out the dead flowers. Patsy enters and asks where the flowers are, so Tom says that he has taken care of it. Patsy is not impressed and informs Tom that this is 7.99 down the drain and will be coming out of his wages. Hal snarks that this has put Tom in Patsy's bad books. Alex bursts into the room and says that she believes their house is haunted.
The three return home and head downstairs, as a door slams. When Alex says, "see now do you believe me?" The ghost repeats what she says. They find a little boy sitting in a room by himself. Tom and Hal ask Alex what the little boy is doing there and what he wants, and Alex replies that she doesn't know. Tom then proceeds to tease her about being to scared to find out. Alex tells Hal to go in and ask, but Hal says that he can't. Tom and Hal finally push Alex through the door. The ghost says hello to Alex and admits that he has been watching her. He adds that Tom and Hal are hiding outside the door. Hal and Tom join them in the room. The ghost says that his name is Oliver and then he falls to the ground coughing. He looks up at Hal and asks to be carried. Hal says, "children and I don't mix," so Oliver asks, "Your manservant then?" Tom quickly denies that he is Hal's manservant. Hal then offers Oliver a piggy back and he stops coughing.
Alex asks where Oliver came from and what he is doing there. Oliver says that this is his house and that he has always lived there. Tom wants to know why they have never met and Oliver replies that he was hiding from the monster - the man with sticks and rope, who are guardians of the afterlife. Hal says that they cannot exist on this side but Oliver replies that he thought it best to keep a low profile. Oliver claims that he came out of hiding because he saw Alex, though she isn't much to look at. Oliver asks what happened to Alex's hair and wants to know if it's because of an industrial accident. They move into the living room, where Oliver encourages them to make themselves at home.
Alex decides that this would be a good time for a housemates meeting. When they step aside, Oliver joins them but Alex says, "just the grown ups." Alex asks how he could have been living there for so long without anyone realising. Hal adds, "more to the point, we can't turn him over to social services." Hal suggests that Alex look after him because she is good with kids, but Alex replies, "that little thumper over there is not one of my little brothers." Oliver then falls to the ground and calls out for a blanket, so Tom rushes to his side and puts him on the couch. Tom says, "we don't want you getting poorly now do we." When Alex points out that Oliver has been dead for a hundred years, Oliver coughs. Alex suggests that Oliver is faking and as she talks about her brothers, Tom and Hal leave the room. Alex tells Oliver, that he might be able to fool Tom and Hal but she has seen this all before and orders Oliver to get up.
Hal and Tom return to work and Hal explains to Patsy that they were called away by a domestic emergency. Patsy says that she has the smoking gun and saw Tom on the security camera. Patsy says that it's noble for Hal to take the blame and tells Tom that he needs to pull his socks up. Tom walks off as Hal calls after him and says that it's funny.
Dominic is on the phone with Ian's sister and tells her that a friendly face would really help Ian out. He informs her that a car will be there to pick her up shortly. Dominic heads off to see Ian and asks him how he is feeling today. Ian says that he needs to feed and that it has to happen soon. Dominic asks Ian if he remembers what they talked about the other day. Ian replies that he knows Dominic has a very special job for him. Dominic says that he has a job which demands skill and delicacy and reminds Ian that he said he was the world's worst nightmare - the victim who gets super powers. Dominic tells Ian that his hour approaches.
Hal is disinfecting the keyboard of the cash register with a q-tip and pure alcohol, as Tom is vacuuming. Tom says that he would never think of doing that and this is why he isn't going to win the competition. Hal says that this isn't part of the competition and is surprised that this isn't something everyone does. Tom replies that he knows Patsy prefers Hal, but he believed that if he worked hard that he could change her mind. Hal adds that he is not interested in the competition but Tom is upset because he wanted to add employee of the month to his CV and adds that he has never had a CV. Hal assures Tom that he can have a CV and offers to type him one, as soon as he is done with the register. Tom says that he wanted to better himself and that he believed that this was his chance.
As the two are leaving, Hal suggests that he withdraw from the competition because he believes that without him distracting Patsy that she will see Tom's potential. Tom turns down Hal's offer and replies that "people should win things because they're good not because everyone else is more rubbish." When Hal approaches the door, Alex opens it and announces that they are having a party. When they enter, Oliver is playing music on the organ and the house is decorated with a Welcome Home Oliver sign. Hal says that they were looking forward to a quiet evening and some supper because they have been working all day. Alex points out that she has been working all day because she has been stuck with Oliver. Alex tells Hal that she will go to the hotel and work his shift and he can try to do what she just did. Tom adds that everyone deserves to have a fuss made when they're little and joins Oliver at the organ.
They start to play games and Oliver is exhausts them to the point where they collapse, even as he demands more. Oliver screams, "never have I met a less lady like lady. You can't dance, you can't conjugate Latin verbs and your magical singing is sub par at best." Alex says that she is done and calls Oliver a freak because he thinks television is vulgar and cannot play football, as she attempts to drag him away for a time out. Alex puts Oliver into a time out and demands that he stay there but he keeps popping up in front of her. Alex then tells Oliver to go to his room, and Oliver demands that she make him. Hal intervenes and says that Oliver should do as Alex says. Oliver storms up the stairs, as Alex says that dead Victorian kids are so hard. Tom suggests that Alex is being a bit hard on him and so she decides to go up the stairs and talk to him. Standing outside the door, Alex hears Oliver say, "please, I'm doing the best I can," and a voice answer him back. Alex asks who Oliver is talking to and Oliver says, "no one." Alex then asks if he answers himself back. Oliver requests to be left alone and so Alex asks what is going on. Suddenly, the door slams shut in Alex's face.
Back at the facility, Dominic escorts Ian to a door. Ian asks if he gets a badge but Dominic says that it's undercover work and offers him a pen instead and says that only their top people get one of these. Dominic tells him that the pen is his talisman and that his destiny lies beyond the door. Alan interrupts them and tells Dominic that Ian's sister has brought his daughter. Dominic pushes Alan out of the way and says that they must be resolute and think of the greater good, before pushing Ian into the room and locking the door. Ian bangs on the door crying before his eyes go black and his fangs descend. Ian then hops over the table to attack his family.
Hal tells Alex that Tom has his heart set on the employee of the month thing and that if Tom is going to win he has to bad. Hal adds that he has never been bad at anything in his life and asks for help. Alex asks, "because I am the leading expert at fucking things up?" Alex then agrees to help and says that Tom needs to stop sitting so straight and that he looks like he has a poker stuck up his bum. Hal says that he cannot slouch because he has a dancers back. Alex tells him to slide into his seat and Hal stiffly complies. Alex advises him to ignore the customers and roll his eyes when a customer comes in.
At the hotel, Hal follows Alex's advice but Patsy sees it as him conserving his energy in case there's a rush later. The captain rolls into the room cursing and says that his colostomy bag is over flowing. Hal says, "don't look at me, I'm not doing it." Patsy replies, "of course not" and yells for Tom, who comes running. Patsy tells Tom that Captain Hatch needs cleaning up but Hal quickly stands and says, "no, I didn't mean for Tom to do it." Patsy continues on and tells Tom that this is more suited to his skill set. Tom is excited that he has a skill set and pushes the devil away.
Oliver is in the tub scrubbing off his clothes and says that just because he is dead doesn't mean one should let their standards drop. Alex asks why Oliver doesn't sound Welsh, and so Oliver tells her that he was born in England and moved there for his fathers work. Alex then asks how Oliver died and Oliver says that it was a personal question. Alex then reminds Oliver that he said he was hiding from the man with sticks and ropes and wants to know what it wants with Oliver. Oliver replies that they want every ghost who hasn't passed over properly.
Oliver then heads downstairs but Alex follows and points out that they haven't come looking for her. Oliver says that if he tells her that she will hate him and then drawers and cupboards in the kitchen start to open and close. Oliver says, "I did a terrible thing. I killed my brother."
Tom is cleaning up the captain. The captain asks how things are going in their little competition and Tom says that things are fine and that he believes that Patsy is finally starting to notice him. The captain says that Hal refused to do clean him up and said that it was beneath him. Tom replies that this is Hal's loss because it gives him another chance to impress Patsy. The captain says that Hal is playing dirty and that he worked with a man like that once who stabbed him in the back. The captain adds that this isn't about a competition for Hal and that men like him need a hierarchy with them on top and everyone else underneath.
Oliver says that everyone made a fuss about his brother who had rickets and never had any time for him. They were playing hide and seek and then Albert hid in an old water tank and that he was the one who found him. Oliver says that everyone blamed him and whispered about him and he couldn't bare it, so he took rat poison. Alex says that she doesn't hate Oliver and tells him about losing her mother and how she was forced to look after her little brothers. Alex assures Oliver that what happened to Albert was not his fault. Alex suggests that they go out and have some fun, then takes Oliver to the same fair that she took her brother to at the beginning of the episode.
The captain asks Hal if he was ever in the military. Hal says he doesn't like to discuss his past but the captain suggests that he is ashamed and that there was a time when people liked knowing their place and now everyone likes to be top dog. Hal tells the captain that he is congenial. The captain says that Hal is better than everyone else and that used to be a blessing and now it's a curse.
Dominic has taken a video of Ian killing his family to the home secretary. Ian points out that if his department is disbanded that this is what will become the norm. The home secretary is not convinced and says that two deaths is not enough to warrant a u-turn. Ian screams that special branch hasn't got a clue. Allister tells Dominic to grow up and that he has to oversee this because if he doesn't he will lose his job.
Hal is at the front desk when Ian enters. Ian says that he used to stay in place like this when he was a kid. Hal grabs him and drags him off to the hallway. Ian says that he did some really bad things and that he is on the verge of not caring. Hal tells him to stay away because he will kill him because he is nothing more than regret to him now. Hal tells Ian that he has killed men, women and children and so it will be easy to kill him and then pushes him out of the building.
Hal returns to the front desk to find Patsy excited that he got rid of the riffraff and encourages Tom to take notes. Tom is beginning to set the table but Hal stops him and informs him that he is putting the spoons in the wrong place, as the captain looks on. When Tom asks what difference it makes, Hal replies, "one is correct and the other is the work of an imbecile. Do I have to do everything? On top of all of the other bullshit I have deal with, now I have to mop up after you. What is this allergy you have to doing things right?" Patsy walks back into the room and says, "you tell him Hal." They both look at her and say, "go away." Tom replies, "there's nothing you won't do to beat me is there? It doesn't matter how far up Patsy's bum you are, I'm going to win this competition." The bickering continues and Hal walks away as the captain smiles.
Alex and Oliver show up at the hotel, as Hal and Tom are serving tea. Tom and Hal start to bicker yet again and Alex asks if this is about the competition. They argue about serving tea and Tom pretends to trip and smears cream all over Hal's suit. In revenge, Hal covers his Tom's with jam and a food fight breaks out in the dining room. Patsy steps in the middle and orders them both to clean up and report to him. The captain grabs Oliver by the shoulder and tells him to get Alex back to the house. Oliver then tells Alex that he wants to go home and Alex agrees.
When they return home, Alex is still giggling about the food fight but Oliver says that there is something he has to tell her about why he is there. Oliver says that he is sorry and then all of the lights go out. Alex asks what is going on and Oliver says that they need to get out of there. Alex tries to shift them out but can't and when she tries the door it's looked. There is a creepy voice in the background. Alex tries to reassure Oliver that this is just a trick and suddenly his brother shows up. Alex takes Oliver into another room and promises to look after him no matter what. Albert calls out that he just wants to play and asks why Oliver keeps running away from him. Alex tells Oliver to open the door and that he cannot keep hiding because he didn't do anything wrong. Oliver says that he wanted Albert dead, wished him dead and then he was gone. Alex assures Oliver that he has to let go of this and that is why Albert has been looking for him all of this time.
When Oliver opens the door, his brother is standing in the hallway. Oliver tells Albert that he is sorry as he approaches slowly. Alex encourages Oliver to go with Albert, so Oliver turns his head to say sorry but when he turns around, Albert is gone and instead there are two horrible looking men. Alex grabs Oliver and the two take off running, as the captain sits at the hotel and laughs. Finally, they are cornered and the men demand that Alex hand Oliver over. Alex says that Oliver is just a kid and demands that they take her instead. The man asks if she is going to take Oliver's place in hell. Oliver tries to intervene but Alex says that she promised to look after Oliver and that this is just what big sisters do. Alex orders Oliver to tell Tom and Hal exactly what happened and to say that this was her choice. Alex agrees to go but Oliver says that this is just what the men wanted and that this is why he was sent here. Oliver hides as Alex is pushed against a wall and the men suck energy out of her. Albert appears in the doorway, so Alex encourages Oliver to go to him. Oliver runs to his brother and then closes the door behind him. Alex asks the men how long they can survive in this world now that the door is closed. The man tells her that she is too late and that the end has begun. The men disappear suddenly, leaving Alex alone.
In the kitchen, Hal says that he doesn't know how he could have been drawn into this, but Patsy cuts him off and blames Tom. Hal is shocked and asks if Patsy even knows Tom. Tom says that Patsy is right and that he knew from the beginning that he wouldn't fit in there. Patsy then orders Tom to pack up his things and leave. Hal tries to stop Tom but Patsy says that she has made up her mind and asks Hal for a back rub. Hal tells her that if she wants to make the place a success that she needs Tom and then adds that she is a snob. Hal says that if Tom goes, then he goes. The two walk out together. When Hal and Tom return home, they learn that Oliver is gone.
Ian is on the beach when he is approached by Alan, who says he isn't part of Dominic's world anymore. Ian encourages him to run along because he has not had any tea. Alan says that his work for the department has left him with very little humanity and adds that he wants to be recruited. The two begin to bond over a video game. Ian then turns and bares his teeth.
Alex returns home to check on her little brothers and watches one of them say, I love you to a picture of her. Alex tells Tom and Hal that it's time to say goodbye to her family because they have started to rebuild their world. Alex says that it's time for her to move on and gets into the car with Tom and Hal. Alex adds that she gets that the men with sticks were after her but is confused because she thought they couldn't pass into this plane. She adds that they said, "he will rise." Hal says that the barriers between the worlds must becoming weaker.
Patsy calls and leaves a message saying that they are short staffed and should let bygone be bygones. The captain tells her that she made the right decision and that her blood pressure is about to go through the roof. Patsy starts to bleed from her eyes and nose. The captain says that he has waited for this the better part of this century, stuck in this chair and this body but here they are, a vampire and a werewolf under the same roof. "It's as if someone smuggled in a file into a cake. All I have to do is stir them up and a bit and wait for the fire to rise and carry me out of here in a great wave. The trinity though, I don't like that. The ghost will have to go. I am getting stronger everyday and when the time is right, I will rise. I am going to drain the world dry" Patsy turns and she is covered in blood so the captain orders her to take a dip in the sea to freshen up.
Back at the house, Alex sits at the organ and starts to play horribly though she thinks she has still got it.
In comparison to the first episode of this series, I found this sort of slow and dreary. Yes, I get that the devil needs the energy of werewolves and vampires fighting to increase his strength but this was so damn tedious. It felt more like the plot was stagnating than actually moving somewhere.
I do like that Alex continued her fight for more gender equality in the home though. I am however disappointed out quickly she not only took on the nurturing role but accepted it as natural to the point of being willing to sacrifice herself for Oliver - a child she had just met. If we are going to have her fight the good fight - how about letting her follow it through to its natural conclusion.
I do have to admit that I liked Oliver though he was only there for one episode. I am kind of sad that his story was resolved so quickly.
As for the Dominic/Ian/Alan storyline, it just feels weighted down. I don't like that Alan went to Ian to be turned, as he is the only character of colour in this season and it's clear he is going to remain in a secondary role. As far as inclusion, this continues to be a downward step.
I just found out today that this will be the last season of Being Human UK. I think it's awesome that the devil will be the antagonist, I just hope that they can move the story along at a suitable pace. There's only four episodes left, so they really don't have that much time and if they are going to show episodes like this, they are going to lose all of the amazing momentum built up in season opener.
