Nadine, the nun who Rudy likes is doing a little light
reading – about the horsemen of the apocalypse. This doesn’t bode well. She’s
interrupted in her musing by another nun who tells her there’s a young man here
to see her to return her bag… which is probably not a common phrase in a
nunnery.
Of course it’s Rudy, subjecting random nuns to his
incessant babble (there is no sin in the world so severe it requires listening
to Rudy as penance). Rudy speaks to Nadine and she tells him she can’t see him
again, being a nun and all. Rudy leaves – very upset. As he does the other nun
tells Nadine she mustn’t see him again because it’s “too dangerous”. Ahhh,
clearly she has met Rudy before.
Jess’s not exactly thrilling love affair with the Alex
and his newly returned penis doesn’t seem to be getting better with him
ignoring her and obsessing over himself in the mirror.
Rudy takes up prayer to try and convince god to give up
Nadine so they can have sex again which even Finn finds dubious.
At the community centre even Greg notices the group are
oddly silent and grumpy compared to usual and Abby nicely recaps everyone’s
issues for him (since when has Greg ever actually cared?) and Greg responds in
a creepy, angry and very heartfelt way about burying pain.
At the pub Jess and Finn play the “we’re totally not into
each other, honest” game and Finn takes issue with Alex flirting with every
woman around
Nadine leaves the nunnery – the other nuns act like a
rabid velociraptor escaped, so I assume there’s more going on here – to go see
Rudy. Who has been trying confession and Hail Marys to try andconvicne god to
de-nun Nadine. It’s Rudy, he doesn’t have to make sense. Even the more sensible
Rudy #2 thinks it’s ridiculous. Time for awkwardness and trying to break the
ice with nun jokes and Rudy trying to confess his many many many many many many
many many many oh dear gods many sins. She interrupts him with a kiss and tells
him she doesn’t care because he has a good heart.
See, this is the problem with love at first sight – it never gives the people chance to know each other first. If she knew him, she’d never say something so silly.
Afterwards they’re both very gleeful (and Rudy can dance?
Actually Irish dancing? First there was Greg the stunning karaoke and now this?)
and Rudy goes to the bathroom to make some earnest declarations of love about
Nadine to god (kinda). While alone, Nadine hears glass breaking. She goes to
check it out – and the nuns kidnap her using chloroform. Rudy returns to find Nadine gone and rants at
god – and breaks Finn’s TV (it’s an act of god!)
At the community centre the next day, Rudy complains
about being run out on – while saying how many many many times he’s done
exactly the same thing. Jess isn’t impressed but, at the same time, decides to
slut shame Abby. Abby rather accurately points out that Jess isn’t feeling a
reel connection with Alex (subtext: Stop taking out your shitty relationship
issues on the rest of us). Jess lashes
out at Abby, calling her a bitch to compound the shaming. Yeah, Jess is winning
no points at all today.
Rudy tries to leave and is intercepted by Greg – Rudy insists
that he’s going to tell someone he loves her and how much it hurts. This
strikes a chord with Greg , he knows that pain, he was in love once but was
scared, didn’t say anything and lost them forever. He then gets creepy and
angry and extra creepy and orders Rudy to go tell Nadine how much he loves her
or he’ll fuck him to kingdom come. Rudy runs – possibly in terror. That was
almost a touching moment…
He arrives at the nunnery to find it barred to him and the nuns won’t let him see Nadine. He sees her through a window but 2 nuns drag her away. He tries to knock the door down and fails dismally. He returns to the group and rants at them until Jess and Finn agree to help (Abby’s in from the beginning)
When they arrive back at the nunnery he reveals he has no plan. Abby suggests they use the special powers they got from the storm and Finn chimes in with “we should use them more often”. Ok I normally hate 4th wall breakage but I applaud this. One of the complaints of the latest season is that the misfits hardly ever use their powers (but their powers are considerably weaker than the ones in season 1)
Finn uses his telekinesis to turn the keys in the lock
and draw back the bolts, though the strain causes blood to come out of his
ears. Jess uses her x-ray vision to see
where the nuns are. And Rudy headbuts a nun much to everyone’s horror including
his own. Abby follows it up by kicking her in the stomach (“it’s ok she’s an
evil bitch nun”… what? But, wha… I have no words). They find Nadine and run for
it.
Meanwhile Alex is having sex with a blonde woman and,
again, obsessing about himself in the mirror. Which is when Jess comes in, find
him with another woman and leaves – giving him a slap on the way out.
Back at the community centre in Rudy and Finn’s room Abby
grabs Finn’s crotch, much to his shock “that’s my incredibly subtle way of
asking if you want to fuck me” she explains. She tells him to get back to her
when he’s sorted out his feelings about Jess. He asks if she likes him and she
says she needs to have sex with him to find out – it’s a process of
elimination. He agrees and there begins the most awkward foreplay mankind has
ever known. After the fact she decides he’s not the one in very clinical terms –
technically very good but no passion and emotion. They shake hands and Finn
asks, sarcastically if there’s any paperwork he has to complete. She doesn’t
understand – comments on his weighty balls – and Jess comes in, sees they’ve
been shagging and leaves with Finn running after her. Jess calls Abby a slut
again and Abby counters with “you like Finn because he’s shagging someone else”.
This is when Alex arrives, jess tells him to fuck off and Finn decides to get involved (I almost wish Finn would get beat up just so he can learn to keep his nose out of Jess’s business. It’s not cute or romantic to play attack dog or protector for a woman so she’ll want to sleep with you – he’s such a creepy “nice guy”. He’s pretty close to Greg-level creepiness). Alex punches Finn, Jess attacks Alex, Abby tells Jess to just choose one and Jess has some more slurs to throw at her – all the while Nadine watches beginning to hyperventilate (I am not even commenting on the whole Abby sperm thing).
The lights flicker and Nadine says it’s the four horsemen
of the apocalypse. Yes! PLEASE END IT! When she sees people being cruel and
violent, that’s when they come. It starts to storm. We pan out to see 4 figures
on black bikes, carrying swords and wearing hoods. The 4 Hoodies of the
Apocalypse. On bicycles.
Yes the nuns were trying to protect the world from her
power. They7 leave to try and take Nadine back to the nunnery and are chased by
the 4 Hoodies. They run back to the community centre, getting in just in time
to close the doors. So one drops through the ceiling.
They get separated. One Hoody punches Abby unconscious, raises his sword to stab her when Finn comes round the corner. He yells “no” and throws out his hand, his telekinesis throwing the Hoody back against the doors, knocking him unconscious. Looks like Finn just levelled up. Abby and Finn run with Abby declaring she’s never felt so alive.
Nadine and Rudy hide in a cupboard, Nadine blames herself
but Rudy says no and says he loved her.
Alex and Jess hide in the locker room – and a Hoody catches them and stabs Alex through the stomach. Jess attacks him by hitting him repeatedly in the head with a fire extinguisher. They all arrive to see Jess trying to stop Alex bleeding to death, Finn tells Abby to knock off her emotional honesty and start sugar coating things (she’s bad at it) and Jess announces that the only way to stop the Hoodies is to kill Nadine – it’s her power, if she dies, they die.
Nadine says Jess is right, it’s her fault. Rudy refuses to believe that – Nadine is pure and good and he’s defiled her by bringing her into a world with cheaters and liars with some added slut shaming of Abby (Abby looks ashamed now as well).
Jess resolves that they all go out and face the Hoodies
together, united. Nadine’s surprised that they’ll all die for her. She says she’s
glad she met them – then runs out to the 4 Hoodies. They take her and stab her.
She falls – and they disappear. Rudy sobs over her body.
We see Rudy grieve over their body stash (it must be
getting full) telling us he really loved her.
The gang can ride bikes now, they all got some free BMXs
out of it. Which Abby remembers liking – her first memory. Jess gets a call
from the hospital telling her that Alex is getting a lung transplant Rudy warns
them all what can happen with transplants possibly giving powers – which is
definitely foreshadowing
That was the season finale of Misfits. In which they
finally remember they have powers. And where we learn that women who have sex
are bad and horrible and wrong compared to nuns. How about that for a
yay!celibacy message!? Seriously, the image is the pure nun who’s too good for
this world vs a woman who has sperm dribble out of her onto the floor.
When I first started watching Misfits, I cringed. I
cringed because the misogyny and the homophobia were pretty much constant and
because I wanted someone to hit Nathan with something heavy and sharp. Despite
that, I liked it and enjoyed it because it was fun – the stories were good, the
characters were compelling, the powers were intriguing, the story had some meat
to it, but ultimately this was a character driven show. It was a guilty pleasure,
it was worth biting my tongue past the headaches and watching it because everything
else was so good.
Fast forward to season 4. The original cast is entirely
gone. Abby is, quite literally, a blank slate. Finn makes me want to kick
puppies, Jess had some beginnings of characterisation but fell back rapidly and
Rudy makes me wish for Nathan’s return. Where’s the Simon & Alisha
storyline to keep us intrigued? Or Seth and Kelly? Where are the characters we’re
supposed to like and care about. Honestly the season finale could have been “and
they were all hit by a bus” and I’d cheer. It’s even been ages since they
killed a Probation Worker! To compound that, they have completely downplayed
the powers to a point where episodes pass where you’d be forgiven for
forgetting about the storm. An annoying good twin, amnesia, X-ray vision and
the ability to move very small objects and give yourself a nosebleed? And they
don’t even use them!
I’m at a point where the series needs either a reboot or
cancelling because they’ve lost a lot of what made Misfits good. It’s a
character driven show with crappy characters. That’s not a great combination.
