When we left Tara last episode she was cooking under the
lights of a sunbed – thankfully, the extremely not amused Pam rushes in to save
her vampire child. After some argument (and disgust on Pam’s part) Pam invokes
maker command with her usual, awesome bored mien.
Bill and Eric’s excellent adventure continues, with them
being rescued by the Authority, charged with hunting down Russell – and Eric is
back at Fangtasia in time for Pam coming home with Tara. Pam actually credits
Sookie for this (oh no, Pam, her promise to you was forgotten 5 seconds after
it came out of her mouth).
Eric manhandles Pam to demand if she let Russell go –
which, obviously she didn’t, and also outrages her that he’d suggest that.
After a century together, he has so little trust in her – she demands he
release her if she means so little to her so she can leave.
Bill, being the Angstiest Vampire of them All, is probably
a good one to comfort Tara about becoming a vampire – and Tara throws in her best line of the night when
asked whether Sookie knows:
“How many of us have nearly died to save her sorry ass?
Well I did them all one better”
Bill keeps asking if Sookie’s safe, but Tara keeps
hitting the best lines – Sookie is always safe, because there’s always someone
there to help her, always someone there to take a bullet for her and he, Bill,
needs to stop spending all his time worrying about Sookie before it gets him
killed. Tara, have a standing ovation.
Eric and Bill are left wondering who could have possibly
known, if they didn’t tell anyone and if Pam didn’t tell anyone.
Later, Pam wakes from her coffin and watches Tara sleep; and she talks to Eric. Eric explains that they’re on a suicide mission – the Authority and Russell are too dangerous. He doesn’t want to catch her in the cross fire of the hole he’s dug – he has to release Pam, not because he doesn’t trust her but because he doesn’t want her to die with him. Pam accepts and understand – and Eric releases her. It’s powerful and touching and long overdue to see these 2 together again.
Speaking of touching scenes; Bill and Jessica are
searching for bugs in his office during which he makes it clear he accepts her
as an adult and capable of looking after herself. Jessica also makes a plea for
him to help and comfort Sookie (Jessica as well? When did she enter the Sookie
orbit?) but Bill says Jessica needs to look after herself first (yes yes yes).
Tara wakes to find Pam and Melanie (dinner). Tara doesn’t
want to feed on a person – but Pam invokes Makerdom to force her and tell her
what it is to be a vampire, to be no-one’s victim, to drink blood etc etc. I’m
not happy with Pam overusing her maker authority to control Tara, but I am
happy to see a possibility of Tara finding happiness and fulfilment as a
vampire.
Lafayette is now realising the horrible truth – without Tara
he is now reduced to the one friend who has to tolerate Sookie and clear up her
bullshit. See, Tara, you thought being a vampire was bad? This is a fate worse
than death. Sookie has told Alcide about Debbie’s death – despite Lafayette
already intervening once like that. She just can’t keep lying – y’know, she
could have tried! One day does not constitute being driven up the wall by the
lies! Lafayette is not pleased and gives her a very nice slap down – he’s not
selling her out, but she can’t just keep quiet? Sookie has to do the right
thing, she just has to (well, the last 4 seasons she hasn’t, as I’m sure Tara
can attest. In fact, how often has Sookie “done the right thing” rather than “done
whatever Sookie wants”?) to which we get the best line of the night – let’s
have a direct quote here:
“You survive, you always do. But goddamn do you leave a
trail of bodies behind. Y’know what, you the fucking angel of death.”
Oh yes, yes yes. In fact I’m going to rewind that and
watch it again. And again. This is almost as good as watching Tyrion slap
Joffrey on Game of Thrones.
Alas, Sookie needs a shoulder to cry on after that –
Jason, you’re it. And she tells Jason that she’s turning herself into the police
for murdering Debbie. That’s right Lafayette, not only has she told Debbie’s
ex-boyfriend that she killed Debbie, but Sookie is now telling a police
officer. And it’s overheard by Jessica as well. Someone get Sookie a loud
speaker – is there any way she can get on TV and tell the whole state of Louisiana?
I think that the writers realised that rather than
pitying Sookie, we’re all cheering on the people putting her in her place. So
we’re treated to Sookie hearing the minds of Holly and the whole bar, all
judging Sookie for what she did to Tara (how many of them even know!) or for
sundry other reasons. In case you forgot, yes Sookie can read minds – I know
she has a habit of forgetting this. She runs and hides.
Lafayette, meanwhile, is having a devil-face moment over
Sookie’s car (it is a very very ugly car, so I understand) making it levitate.
This leads to Sookie driving it and the brakes not working and she crashes and
burns horribly. Hah, you wish – no, she leaps from the car at 80 miles per hour
(apparently) just before it crashes. Sookie goes home and starts draining every
bottle of booze she can find.
And Alcide has decided to go to Debbie Pelt’s parents to
tell them that Debbie has been murdered – but she said he was killed by Marcus,
the ex-packmaster. (See, Sookie, this would be a lie. Learn to do it.) There’s
a great big crying match and hopefully we can put this storyline to bed.
This apparently contents the Pelts who let Andy know that
they’re satisfied – yet Andy isn’t. He doesn’t understand them leaving so
abruptly and thinks there’s more to investigate, much to Jason’s consternation.
Because he has a judge who owes him a favour he was going to get a search warrant
for all the houses close to where the car was abandoned – including Sookie’s. But
Jessica zooms in the room and puts a full vampire whamy on him so Andy won’t
even remember Debbie Pelt existed. Good to have a vamp on call.
Later, while Sookie is out of her brain, Lafayette calls
her and asks if she’s ok having found her car. He’s worried about her – and worried
about him and his magic doing it – but Sookie is too drunk/self-absorbed to
listen. And, anyway, Alcide is at the door letting Sookie know he lied to the
Pelts and has joined the big list of people willing to lie for her and cover
for her. They get drunk and, lo, Sookie and Alcide start kissing (RUN Alcide!
RUN you fool!)
Which is witnessed by Bill and Eric outside who think she’s
going to be useful helping them find out who let Russell free (seem, knew there
was a reason why her mind reading was remembered) and if she’s not going to
help willingly, they’re happy to force her.
At the Authority, Salome and Roman are listen to the
sounds of Nora being tortured about her Sanguinista connections (the stereo
must be broken, you make do). The torture doesn’t seem to be pulling anything
out of her, so Roman decides to throw Salome at her (this seems to be the
standard Authority operating procedure: 1) torture 2) send in naked Salome)
The other Authority councillors are all bragging about
their achievements, watching Bill and Eric’s tracking signals, sniping,
worrying about sanguinista uprisings on 4 continents and watching Nora pray
(pretty much proving she is a sanguinista). With these leaders, who is
surprised people don’t have faith in them?
Salome and Roman go to see Nora to try and make her give
up her confederates. She completely refuses to be broken and waits for death, unmoved
by Salome or torture – but Roman threatens to kill Eric and Bill with his handy
stake-app. Nora asks for a guarantee that Eric and Bill won’t be killed if she
tells them: Salome swears on the blood of Lillith (sounds very sanguinista-ish)
that they will live.
Roman goes to have a nicely dramatic meeting with his
Authority Chancellors, while toying with his stake from the Judas Tree. Nora
has revealed another traitor which apparently Roman has confirmed. The child
vampire Chancellor has been killing humans for funsies, recording it then
sending the message out to Sangunistas – naughty boy. Staking time.
In the world of completely unnecessary storylines, 2 of
the shifters Sam used to run with along with Luna have arrived in his bar to
invite him back to party with them. When he goes to meet them, they’re dead. I
am trying to scrape up enough interest to care.
Meanwhile in South Dakota… wait, what? Oh gods why do we
care about South Dakota? Ugh, unnecessary storyline the second – Terry and Patrick continue their road trip. They also
have flashbacks back to Iraq where they took drugs and drank in a prayer tower.
Uh-huh. A local Iraqi arrives to complain – and the soldier they have on look
out shoots him. A crowd arrives to grieve, and someone shoots at them from a
rooftop. In the aftermath of the firefight, most of the grieving crowd has been
shot.
They arrive at their squad-mates deserted house and find
a hidden trap door into a basement. Which has, on one wall, an extremely disturbing
collage of fire and black figures; oh and a man with a gun behind them
Andy and Jason are invited to a party by the corrupt
judge – a party that involves them wearing hoods for the journey so they don’t
know where they’re going. The blind folded three are taken on a littler walk by
3 women – who take them through the fairy portal. And into a club full of half
naked people. And Andy meets up with Mirella, the fae he slept with waaaay back
I have no idea when!
And Jason runs into Hadley, his cousin who tells him that
they’re in a fairy safehouse – because the vampires are killing and draining everyone
with fairy blood. He reveals Sookie is alive and Hadley is desperate for them
both to join them before the vampires kill them like they did their parents.
Which is news to Jason – before he can learn more, he and Andy are evicted and
shot with fairy light
I’ve changed my mind, Salome is so definitely the head of
the Sanguinistas, or at least high up in the ranks.
Unnecessary storylines ahoy! The fairies really really
don’t need to come back. And I really really don’t care about Terry. Or Sam and
his shifters. Less Terry, less fae, more telling Sookie what a horrible person
she is!
I am glad that Pam and Eric reconciled, it was beyond infuriating
that a 100 year relationship was derailed by the super-special Sookie; even if
he released her, at least she is acknowledged by him.
But most of all, let this be known as the episode when
Sookie Got Told. *rewinds and watches again*
