Cassie and Ella are not-at-all suspiciously spying on
Azazeal, Jo and little baby Malachi at the playground and plotting to have
Cassie gain their trust and kidnap the baby so Ella can murder him. But Cassie
is worrying about him in a ridiculously maternal fashion.
Thelma has her own suspicions – both about Cassie going
near Azazeal and Ella and her motives – Thelma asks all those question you
really wish protagonists would ask, rather than being so very trusting all the
time. This is because Thelma is awesome.
Cassie goes anyway and shows her super powerful Natural
Mother skills that Malachi can sense (despite her being a complete and utter
stranger) able to make him stop crying despite Azazeal fretting over him all
morning. Much flirting follows (between Cassie and Azazeal, not the baby. And Azazeal
saying how betrayed he feels because she befriended Ella – at least she objects
to his arrogance (but not his rape, violating her choice for an abortion or his
stalking or his murdering of Thelma?). But no, they end up kissing, of course
and then on to sex
While Azazeal is asleep though, she does run with the
child.
Ella’s legal guardian (I suppose you do need one if you
are an immortal teenager) arrives to pay her school fees and deliver a very ominous
looking box (all the while Ella remains completely mute for some bizarre
reason). Inside are many shiny items: a huge boo, a rod that blasts things and
a bottle of red liquid. We know this because a very nosy Thelma (did I mention
she’s awesome?) pokes around much to Ella’s frustration. Oh and a knife that
she stabs Thelma with – which is scary, but Thelma’s been there and turns it
into flirting and innuendo because she’s awesome (and she has to flirt with the
straight women who give her mixed signals back. It seems to be a rule of Hex).
Thelma and Ella bond more (and they do have MUCH better
witty repartee than Thelma and Cassie ever had) as Ella goes to church to steal
some holy water and nearly kills a vicar (teacher Jez). And she draws a magical
Hexagram on Cassie’s floor, where she and the baby can hide, safe from Azazeal
(all the while bantering with Thelma). Thelma also talks about her worry of
disappearing, before more banter and pointing out not all demons are scaly and
ugly and frightening – and how she was late because she was seduced by a
beautiful demon (to which Thelma responds that she wants a beautiful lesbian
demon to lead her astray).
Cassie arrives and she and Malachi hide in the hexagram,
but the ritual to be rid of him has to take place at midnight on consecrated
ground. And Cassie is having second thoughts. And Thelma expresses bewilderment
about Cassie going to bed with Azazeal again (I share your bewilderment
Thelma). Of course, the slightest little scare and Cassie comes running out of
the hexagram, poor Ella, dealing with this woman. While Ella is setting up,
Cassie and Thelma curl up – and Malachi wanders off (you give them one task,
Ella, one). Ella arrives back to find a missing baby and is rather exasperated –
so they have to go search (after reminding Cassie, again, to get back in the
damn hexagram!)
Which means wandering the grounds while Azazeal is doing
the same – and running into the body of George the Porter who seems to have run
into a vexed Azazeal before them. Malachi, meanwhile opens the door to Cassie’s
room, waves at her, then wanders off. And Cassie leaves the hexagram to follow
him, yes yes she does. And runs into Azazeal – in running from him she does
grow a brain, however (and super speed) and manage to lure him into the
hexagram – which can lock him in as easily as locking him out.
Ella arrives and sends Cassie away, while Azazeal is
stuck in the circle. He declares there’s no way Cassie would ever kill their
child. And yes, Cassie is cooing over the baby and saying how wrong it is to
execute a baby for the sins of his parents (Thelma isn’t pleased with this line
of thought) and, yes, Cassie objects to Ella who objects to the objections.
To the church with the baby, time for some chillum killing!
The baby cries, Ella chants, raises a knife and Azazeal arrives – appealing to
Cassie and her love for him and their child. There is a lot of conflict and
Cassie throws herself forwards – over the baby so the knife stabs her and not
the child (she could have just grabbed the baby, I’m just saying). While I
think she could have grabbed the baby, that moment is perfect in its tension
and setting, really well done. Thelma rushes forwards, but as per the ritual,
Cassie dissolves into darkness. And Azazeal takes Malachi, scornfully deriding
Ella for her ignorance through his own tears.
In unnecessary side plot lines, Roxanne is flirting with
a teacher, Jez, (the school chaplain as well) again as she was in the first
season and Leon is being Leon. Ella has fun telling Roxanne that he’s a priest
(and throws in a gay joke as well, of course), but Roxanne keeps trying,
pretending to be devastated by Felix’s death to try and grab him in to
one-on-one counselling. We’re treated to Roxanne luridly describing how she
stayed with a foster family who all had sex with her (I suspect it is used to titillated
Jex more than therapy)
Gah, Azazeal has done some utterly gross offences and
Cassie has brushed over so many of them and is still attracted to the man. Yes,
it’s Michael Fassbender, but, hello? Murdering, stalking rapist who stole the
baby from your womb when you intended to have an abortion? Ring any bells? This
whole bonding and deep conversation and seduction with Azazeal is just skeevy
And Cassie instantly bonding and worrying for the child
she has never known? Never held? A child who grew to a toddler in a few weeks
because Cassie’s super mothering kicked in? Yeaaaaah, not buying that either.
Ella and Thelma are a much better pair than Cassie and
Thelma, but I dislike a resurfacing of that same trope – mixed signals to
Thelma to keep her under control.
I can’t be sad at Cassie – because oh she annoyed me. She
needed a character for me to miss.
